Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[nashy]

Welcome @Anastasia !

[nashy]

The note idea is beautiful! @luckymeaunty thank you so much for sharing with people to pick up as a strategy  @Shaz51 Massive theme of balance tonight..

@FindingStrength It sounds like you are very resilient and self-aware, sometimes Help Centres can help with day to day strategies. Good to know they are there either way 🙂

[luckymeaunty]

It is difficult to say the ‘right thing’ as this could be changing moment to moment.

[Dama]

Have talked about not being able to be in their position, and that caring doesn't equal understanding, but it still matters. Not talked much about feeling shut out, just welcome the open door when it's there.

[FindingStrength]

A side note - if you go to the options box above the comments & change the order of posts to most recent first then you can stay on page 1. Still have to refresh though

[nashy]

Great insights everybody! @luckymeaunty @FindingStrength @Dama @Shaz51 @Bron @Anastasia and others 🙂 

We better move on to Question Two  Often carers find themselves taking on every task for a loved one. Whilst the intent is beautiful, it's important those living with complex mental health also get a chance to exercise different skills and self accountabilities.

How do you know when it’s the right time to empower your loved one to take on further tasks in their recovery? I.e. booking their own appointments, follow up with their support coordinator themselves? etc...

[Bron]

Setting and maintaining boundaries is hard. It helps to have a friend or counsellor to talk to or coach you about putting boundaries in place.

[nashy]

Wonderful tip @FindingStrength 🙂 Thank you! 

@Dama "welcome the open door when it's there". Thank you for this.. I think you're spot on. Sometimes sitting alongside someone, even if we cannot fully understand, is the most compassionate thing we can do in that moment. 

[Bron]

To answer your question Nashy, mental illnesses are often episodic, so there is no ‘right time.’ A person can be clear and capable on on some days and not on others. Keep talking with the person so that you can find out (and not assume) how they are doing. A suggestion is to make an agreement with the person, to let you know when they need help and when they can resume responsibility.

[luckymeaunty]

Talk to them about it. Ask if they would like you to continue to do xyz. I sometimes break a task into smaller portions and my loved on may take on part of a task, and then gradually more pieces of the tasks. Checking in over time. Asking if there is a different way we could be doing something etc