Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[pip]

Hi @ConcernedCitizen. He could have left his phone off the hook in fear of being contacted. You mentioned earlier you are going to ask him to record evidence to back up his beliefs. May I ask how this will help him, if he believes the police are part of this conspiracy? Once you have the proof, what do you intend doing with it? If the police were paying someone to watch him, once they have proof of whatever it is they want, they would arrest him or search his residence. None of this has happened, so far, so I tend to think he could be having delusions. I'm not saying for sure he is delusional, but there is reason to believe he could be. Why would this woman watch him, then walk away? If she was 'spying' she would've photographed him or somehow got word to whoever that he was home. Try to see if you can get him to talk to someone about his beliefs as they are driving his gf away. Where are his family, does he have family? Maybe it's time to contact them and ask them to help.

[ConcernedCitizn]

I don't think you understand what gang stalking is. I suggest looking it up and reading about it, as there are a lot of different ways they mess with you. It's basically psychological warfare.

This is what he believed the woman was doing:
As I explained before, the people "in charge" of the gang stalking (also known as a multi dimensional matrix attack) find random people on the street. This is just one aspect of what they do. They will then pay them in cash or gift cards and give them instructions. In this situation, "walk to that apartment complex and stare at the man standing on the balcony. If he engages you in any way, leave. If he doesn't engage you, continue staring at him until we signal you."
About two minutes into the video, a car drives by her and pulls a U-turn. When it passes by her, the guy waves his arm at her and she turns, looks at him, then walks off as if nothing happened.
He tells me this kind of thing happens constantly, multiple times a day.

There is also another aspect of it known as "street theater". They will listen in on a private conversation he's having behind closed doors, in his own home or in his car. Then they will pay people in the same manner and tell them to stand at a certain location they know he will be at or near, and talk about this subject. They won't talk about the exact same story, but they will say certain key words. Example: if the original conversation was about buying his girlfriend something for her birthday, maybe an inside joke gift that nobody else knows about, then he would go to get in the car and a group of people are standing at the corner talking, and as he walks by he'll hear them mention "girlfriend" "birthday" and whatever the gift he was thinking of buying her happened to be.

Apparently, whenever they would stay at a hotel while on vacation, whenever he would walk into his hotel room after being gone, the phone would ring. When he would answer it, the person would hang up on the other end. This is apparently how they let him know "we are listening/watching." Or so he told me.

[pip]

@ConcernedCitizen. I have heard of 'gang stalking'. I was gang stalked. Street theatre is also possible, but not quite the way he believes. Listening in on private conversations is only possible if they have gained access and planted devices, or if there is some sort of attachment by headphone. If he locks his house and then finds he has had intruders, he needs to call the police. I can doubly assure you the police will NOT be involved in any conspiracy to 'bring him down'. Unless he has broken the law in some way, he will not be being 'hounded' in any way. I have been involved in assisting police and working as liaison with them, so I have some idea how they work. Staying in hotels and having the phone hung up after he answers it, does not happen. It's possible the switchboard has called by mistake, they will always apologize, never hang up without talking. If it does happen, all he needs to do is call the switchboard and ask them to check any and all calls to his room. The only other way he can be 'stalked' is through internet, this is called cyber stalking, usually fb. He needs to get the police to monitor his phone, I promise they will not be 'part of any conspiracy'. The police are too busy with tracking down actual law breakers to be part of any conspiracy. If he has been reported to the police, they would have interviewed him before now. I know the police do operate what they refer to as 'stings', this only happens when they need enough evidence to 'close' the book on a case where they know the person is guilty, but they need certain evidence that is being withheld. Your friend does not fit this category, so I would suggest you contact him either face to face and somehow persuade him to see the police or talk to someone who can reassure him.

[Maddy1]

I havent been in a situation quite like that before, but I can imagine it would be extremly draining, so make sure you are being there for yourself as much as you are being there for him. You sound like an extremly good friend to help him through this, and despite him being in 

If you are genuienly concered about it being a real-life threat, maybe it you should go to the police. And even if it is just a matter of reassurance for you and your friend that everything is ok in that respect (although I do know the problem is rooted a lot deeper)

Has your friend actually been diagnosied with anything? From the sounds of it, his meds might need to be taken a bit further than just anxiety meds, because they clearly dont seem to be helping much (but are you sure he is taking them?).

If I were you, I would continue doing every thing you can to encourage him to get help, and make his psychiatrist appointments more regular and consistant.

Good luck, and dont forget your not alone, and definetly not taken for granted.

[ConcernedCitizn]

I appreciate both of your replies.

I have talked to him about letting the police know. He assures me that at least some of the police are involved in it. He doesn't know who. He says they definitely have corrupt cops on the police force in his town. He has given me several reasons why he believes this is happening to him but he seems to go back and forth. One minute it's because he learned too much about something in the military. The next time it's because he said bad things about people/services too many times and this is revenge. Another time it's the Hawaiian locals. Now he thinks it's the 3% Nation. He also mentioned to me before that it has something to do with the organization trying to pin a crime on him he didn't commit from a long time ago.

I'm trying to keep myself well but it's hard. Each conversation with him is different. Sometimes it's like talking to a friend and I hang up feeling refreshed. Other times it starts that way but ends up with him asking me if I'm in on it, or if maybe I'm helping them and don't know about it, or he's apologizing me for wronging me in some minor way in the past because he thinks I'm doing this because I secretly hate him. It's different every time.

[Princessmolly]

If someone was watching me and video taping me from their balcony id stop and stare at them too!!! He must have started taping before she stopped to look in order to catch her stopping.
People are probably acting strange around him because of the vibe he has, his mannerisms, too much direct ete contact trying to see if they are "in on it". Imagine how you would feel if someone you had never met is staring at you....unblinking...turning to look as you walk past. You would act strangely. He clearly needs some help it must be awful to feel like everyone is out to get you

[pip]

@Concernedcitizen. While your friend does have a valid point about there being 'corrupt' officers, there are loads of people who really do cause havoc by 'stalking'. Corrupt officers never last long, because their actions bring all their colleagues down and policemen, as a rule, don't tolerate corrupt officers. Your friend definitely needs to talk to someone about his fears. If he was in the military (which I'm doubting) he could possibly have been dishonourably discharged. He doesn't sound as though he's reliable and military personnel rely on each other for back-up. I think perhaps you should start suggesting he talk to a therapist because he is going to cause real problems with other people with his anti-social actions. You need to care for you and maybe try and distance yourself a bit. I'm inclined to agree with Princessmolly about his behaviour too. Unfortunately, when people act strangely, other people do stare. Children too can be extremely unkind and could make inappropriate comments about him.

[ConcernedCitizn]

First of all, he started the video after she was already standing there staring at him. I have seen the video. He recorded her BECAUSE she was acting strangely and it actually gave him enough time to go get his camera and record her.

Secondly, why would you doubt he was in the military? Why do you assume he's always been like this? He joined the Marine Corps and served for five years. That's how he's getting his treatment now - he goes to the VA.

[pip]

Dear ConcernedCitizen. I never questioned your friend recording the lady watching him. I must admit to being concerned at her watching him so intently. If he was acting a bit 'off', perhaps she was waiting to see what he would do, I can't comment there. I'm starting to wonder if he has a form of PTSD, coupled with paranoia, because of military duties. With PTSD, the effects can be major, the sufferer hears and sees things that cannot be explained. If he was in the military and developed any sort of paranoia, it's possible, instead of helping him, they have discharged him, dishonourably. The problem here seems to be, he's supposed to be being treated through the VA. From what you say he seems to believe everyone is involved in a conspiracy against him. If this includes the VA, it's doubtful he will say too much to them for fear of recrimination. The situation you are in with him is way beyond your capabilities, because you seem to going two steps forward, one back. Just when you think he trusts you, he starts questioning you. It seems he believes you are conspiring along with everybody else. He doesn't trust his gf, he has questioned your relationship with her (I know, there isn't one), it's not what I'm saying, it's what he's saying. The help he needs is specialized and you, being a friend cannot give him that help. You need to care for you, and caring for him is something you can't do because he won't let you. You may have to get a bit 'hard' here and tell him straight to get some help. If you read Princessmolly's post, it may help you decide what you need to do. I think, if it was me, I'd be inclined to tell him, much as I care for you, there is nothing I can do, you need help that I can't provide. You may have to consider backing away for your own sake. You have been there for him, but nothing you do seems to have any impact on him, except he accuses you of conspiring with his gf. How does that help you or him?