Lived Experience Forum

[Princessmolly]

The past 8 years have possibly been the unhappiest of my life and im wondering how much of that us connected to social media. Comparing myself to others. Feeling left out etc etc. I spend literally most of my time on facebook but i have very few connections in the real world. I want to quit but the few friends i do have post about carch ups on there and i miss out on so much every time i de activate even though they know my number. Who has facebook, twitter, instagram etc? Do you find it makes you feel good? Positivly impacts your life etc? I miss the old days of just callung people

[Mosaic]

Hi @Princessmolly

Thanks for sharing. Many members I'm sure can identify with your observation around online social media, and the shift it has caused in how we interact and socialise with others in daily life. @Former-Member started a thread and shared a bit about her experiences with social media here - you might like to have a look through when you're free. It can be tricky to find the balance with social media, as most of us can appreciate the benefits it offers. Even this Forum is a social media platform of sorts, and does provide the space to connect with people in a way they otherwise may not have the chance to. Other members have commented on social media too -   @Appleblossom @TAB @Alone @Binyini and @utopia have also talked about how social media has impacted their self-esteem or fueled the social comparison. Feel free to jump in guys and share your two cents with @Princessmolly!

Take care.

[Sahara]

Hi @Princessmolly,

I think social media can be a problem if you let it be. As for myself, I try and limit the time I spend on Facebook. I enjoy it when I'm on there and then I can let it go for a week and come back to it when I have nothing else to do.

Maybe the real problem you have is that you compare yourself to other people too much? I don't mean to assume that you do, so please correct me if I am wrong. it's something we all do, at times.

It's difficult to "read between the lines" and many people on Facebook only ever post about the good things that happen in their lives.... so you never hear about the bad stuff.... then you might jump to the conclusion that nothing bad ever happens to these people! Bad stuff happens to everyone. Unfortunately.

If you want to break the Facebook 'addiction' then maybe send some personal messages to your friends telling them to contact you by text message on your phone, if they are having a catch-up.  If a few weeks go by and you don't hear from them, then send them a text and ask them to meet up with you. Take the initiative yourself. Even call them and speak to them in person one evening! They will love that you made the effort to call.

I find with friends in general, it makes me feel good to take the initiative and make the move to contact them, rather than waiting around for them to contact you. It ultimately makes me feel more confident. It will probably have the knock on effect of making you appear happy and motivated and social, too.

Not that I am any expert, as I have been reclusive lately. I moved house and didn't even tell people about it! I am in the process of calling everyone now. 

[Sahara]

Oops, this got posted twice. 

[Former-Member]

i use to spend as much time as i could on facebook but it got to the point that i didnt know what was happening around me unless it was posted on facebook and i missed out on lot now i only go on to get photos of family that i dont already have. when i was on it constantly i would get upset about missing out on things feeling left out i used facebook even more and until i someone helped disconnect myself from the computer i do sometimes miss the games and people i talked to but i is much better being connected to the world around me even if it does get stressful

[Rome]

Yea I Know people use to just call and talk for hours

[Princessmolly]

I ended up deleting FB the day after this post. I feel so free!!! I havent felt this happy in ages. Iv been cooking meals instead of getting takeout and have been to the gym 4 times in the last two weeks after a 2.5 year hiatus from exercise. I dont mis that cursed site at all and if peoole forget me then i wasnt important to them anyway