Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[GivingMick]

http://books.google.com.au/books?id=BNY2BELcfIUC&pg=PA34&lpg=PA34&dq=reverse+victimization&source=bl...

The above link displays the difficulty in dealing with denial.

[PeppiPatty]

Okay, I'm going to have to read the whole article to get a 'sense,' Its 9.30pm, way past my bedtime and I must do something else but it says....
am I right.....

when someone talks of a victim story, someone else tries to make a bigger one.
when a victim story is getting relayed, you're probably best checking out the story and if a group of people say it, it's best making sure all the right details are right.

also, it's easy to trivialise someone's suffering??

Okay, good good article.
can I ask, why do you like this?? Only because I personally like it.

It usually takes me a week or so to get back when I write in my long long. Writings....Ille read you up on past writings..but I will with you

Reminds me I was in 17 years of therapy.." I felt like I was in victim mode for years and years. The issue was was that I was suffering from major head injury with brain damage .....bad stuff happening around me in the past but the issues at hand was my oldest son displaying bad behaviour and youngest son being rushed into hospital many times per year.

Was all those years a waste of time Giving Mick?? The therapists handed me all these things happening all mixed up. In that if I was given that article... Or just like dealt witheach problems range of importance and the dealt with it and laid it to rest....
0r going to parenting courses for free it may have helped me better.
Instead I lived In victim land for years. and used to see one therapist in particular and acted badly to friends and loved ones In not a good way..... I was a victim......

How embarrassing thinking about those times.

Of course things have changed in therapy land..... I hope I hope ".......not that I saying it was a waste of time but isn't it good that there are different ways to feel heard.

I like the way that some people do Group therapy now. I think I saw zipper writing saying he was.starting a facebook page
I keep on being reminded at that saying....Know yourself.

Do you think that saying....know yourself. has an impact on someone being'the victim?

Interesting article though
Thanks

[GivingMick]

Yes. You're interpretation of how that reads is correct. Parenting courses do help, to gain an understanding. To think the right way.
I put the above link up, to convey that some mental illness sufferers feel like a victim of themselves.

[GivingMick]

No. Those years have brought you here today. All that time was required to heal, and your heart was in the right place!

[PeppiPatty]

Thanks so much. For MI, persons like us, it's a bit like catch22 isn't it?
I was talking to an extremely overweight lady who lives in my complex and we were both being proud in speaking that we are both consumers.

she though able to share, laugh, enjoy company can't leave her home and her point of conversation is what medication she is on and when she visited the Doctor last.

the catch 22 is that, she ......a victims.........I am sure that I could speak about her at the beginning of the message but not sure now
but she dwells on medication
Her latest visit to the Psychiatrist

she lives a narrow life and with no help to mKe it ...her life wider. G

[GivingMick]

We can only help, do what we can. People have to on their own, and in their own time, learn to help themselves.
I have had similar discussions with people in my life about consumerism, that it is required to keep the economy going. The problem is how they understand what is said. They have taken me literally, and think that they must spend all their money when they get it. It irritates me, that after they have spent, they then put their hands out for a helping hand. Asking for some of my money. They also don't know how to save for the future!
To help that woman with her weight, I would suggest taking her healthy foods to try, to tempt her taste buds in eating better for her health.

[PeppiPatty]

Hi Giving Mick,
How are you ?
Iv been thinking about your message last couple of days.......
Why do I not address her weight and talk about salads etc ?
then.....why am I just getting through financially? At least I don't have a credit card !
I think can address the weight thing. As far as Iv worked out women who Iv met tie a lot of their own issues with their weight. This particular woman has a lot of help and I would not help her talking to her about her weight I would just make her defensive.

money problems. Another emotional tie for some people hey. It's just is as some people are. I think the best thing to do is just take care of yourself

[GivingMick]

Hi JA47. That would be the expected response when people are having trouble! Defensive positions, walls, communication barriers. The sufferer knows their position too well. Their comfort zones are what holds themselves back. That's why I suggested different food samples, something new, to help her move from her safety net.
I am taking care of myself, and my families needs the best I can. Thanks for the understanding. 🙂

[Camelia]

Hi Everyone.  It's been a while since I looked in, and I'm sorry for not keeping up with all the discussion.  But now I have to admit that I was in denial myself.  I was believing that my son was improving.  His meds were dropped to half and he seemed well.  But lately he started looking pastey and ill again.  Going out till small hours, sleeping all day.  And now I've just had confirmation from a phone call that he is using meth amphetamines again and dealing.  Am sitting here waiting for a call from his caseworkers to find out what options there may be.  I don't want to see him jailed (he's on a suspended sentence), I don't want my husband to throw him out - he'll just use more.   I suppose the only other choice is for him to be taken back into the hospital under the Involuntary Treatment Order.  I just don't understand why he is taking such risks.  

[PeppiPatty]

Dear Camilia,
.
It's very cool to see you here.