Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

It's never too late @Bow never!

As I said previously, what is the worst thing that could happen? 

💞

[Bow]

Hi @Peri Thanks for taking the time to reply   muchly appreciated, I apologise for the late reply. Yes EDs are very complex, I don't even understand it most of the time. 
My step dad unfortunately wouldn't really be suitable to take along to appointments. He is actually really unwell himself. Terminally ill actually. Hence the not wanting to burden either him or my Mum with my own stuff. it really is a difficult place to be. No real easy answers unfortunately. I feel like I have to do this mostly on my own cause of all the extenuating circumstances. 
I find eating most challenging. I engage in a lot of really unhealthy ED behaviours. Hence why my potassium levels are a constant issue. I've recently been a bit more upfront with my gp about this, I denied it for a while, so she at least is on top of that now. And then there is of course all the horrible battles that go on in my mind around my body image. It's like there is a monster inside my head. 
thanks again. 

[Peri]

Dear @Bow ,

 just hang in there, I once worked with an ED team, it was ata children’s hospital ,so they were young people. But the challenge of managing , for the patients, families and professionals is very real and difficult for everyone.  I really feel for you and how you are managing this. It must feel very lonely. But I am impressed that you are able to mother your little girl so beautifully.  

Keep connecting here with people and don’t give up

peri

[Bow]

Thanks @Peri  

it is a very lonely journey. I don't for a moment expect people to even try to understand the battle that goes on in my head. When you know that your body need nourishment but you mind fights so intensely against it. It's distressing at times. 
I try my best with my daughter. She is my reason to keep fighting. 

[Peri]

Dear @Bow ,

you do show a good level of awareness of your situation, acknowledging that your body needs nourishment .  Many of the young girls I remember did not show awareness of that or the damage they were doing.   So be encouraged.  And your daughter is everything I agree you are doing great.

peri

[Artesian]

Just a thought . .. It might be helpful for your parents to access some support from Family and Carers Mental Health Program to increase their understanding of what is happening for you as well as to get some strategies for themselves in the process. 

[Former-Member]

Worst thing is they tell you not to get treatment because you’d don’t have a real problem but just need guts , gratitude - some helpful but most an attempt to impose their way of values. if you have a more constructive approach to dealing with the past and slow improving present please let me know. 
all u have so far is “learnt what not to do, how not to relapse “

[Former-Member]

This such a valid question coz I was setback in my MH because my parents told me “not to have anxiety” and not to speak to a psychologist as they will “lead me to a sinful life” especially when she was focusing in on my childhood and how her interactions affected me. Please tell me a better way to think of this but often I cry thinking back to my situation.

having said that if you are otherwise close to them, better to use a strong approach maybe in a therapy session stress the importance of MH and their support.

although my mental health was largely exacerbated due to their actions so it’s a two edged sword. Right now I am keeping them away as they very harmful in everything from sexual harassment to reducing my self esteem verbally telling me fictional things I wrongfully did, when in fact my experience would have been just the opposite.   

[Former-Member]

I get told it’s my fault too. My mum even makes up stories that never happened to make me feel bad. On the other hand I am forced to believe they love me.

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Former-Member , how are you going? I wanted to check-in to see how you are travelling. Hope you are okay.

BPDSurvivor