I've complex PTSD as a result of complex trauma I was put through by other people who'd branded me a sex offender for nearly 20 years, eventhough I've never done anything like that. I happen to have schizophrenia, be alittle odd, be LGBT and look a lot like someone who actually is a paedophile and has now been found guilty of that offense... but for nearly 20 years I was the target. My friends told me not to talk to them about it, they were useless, the only support I had was the psychologist once a month, and my psychiatrist for 20 minutes once every 6 weeks if I was lucky.
My personality died under the distress, and I find now that I'll be grieving for that personality for the rest of my life, it was a good personality. The one I have is still very good, but it's a lot darker and I have to lovingly parent it. When I give voice to my cptsd people will often unconsciously use their genuine concerns to try to stop me from talking about it, and I find I have to push those concerns to one side because my healing MUST be more important than other people's concerns. Eventhough I've every right to do that I still get very angry about the fact I'm forced to do that, and then some people will accuse me BV of being insensitive. I tell them they only care about themselves, and that they don't have any "rights" to my sensitivity, it belongs to me.
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