Lived Experience Forum

[Lumara]

Hi @Dimity,

Thank you for your response.

I am struggling, but do still have positive moments / experience motivation briefly.

That is correct. My main concern is having my family involved any further. They are supportive and aware of my current mental state, however, I don't wish to draw attention to the mass removal.

I appreciate the tag for your The magic of tidying discussion thread. I'm still trying to navigate it.

Warmest Regards,

Lumara

[Lumara]

Hi @HenryX, 

Apologies for the lack of clarity.  I'll attempt to explain my initial post. 

I would appreciate any suggestions or guidance in reference to sorting and removing a large amount of items.  

I am currently searching through the thread suggested by Dimity and attempting to navigate this space in general for other helpful resources and advice. 

Since creating the post, I've realised it's probably best to try tackling it alone.  I was hoping there'd be a way to have physical help but I think that idea is adding to the stress for me as it may bring attention to the process. 

Warmest Regards, 

Lumara

[Lumara]

Hi @Anon4,

Apologies for the concern! Others expressed this also, so maybe I should have expanded on my initial post.

I was after advice for that particular topic, so thought being direct made sense.
I am not sure where this topic fits and was just hoping to at least be pointed in the right direction.

Advice on other topics would also be beneficial, of course! – I intend to keep searching for an appropriate thread for each.

I feel compelled to reply to each response to show acknowledgement and appreciation but overall prefer direct solutions and struggle to focus on multiple topics simultaneously.

I've been attempting to gradually remove things for months.  The process isn't getting easier.

There's a list I have of other things I wish to seek advice for, I just thought removing belongings is something I can do now, despite even that being difficult, it just seems like a more instant task rather than, for example, waiting for appointments with relevant professionals or trying to book others that aren't available - currently or in the near future.

I guess focusing on something I can possibly do is better than focusing on the rest that I have almost no control over.

Being practical and direct really wasn't the way to go on this platform. My bad.

To rephrase and expand;

I am seeking advice / suggestions or even assistance regarding removing a large amount of belongings.

I would like to be as discrete as possible with this removal process; although my family is supportive, I would prefer not to draw any attention to this as they would likely be concerned and almost definitely intervene.  Even with the best of intentions, their interference could make the situation extremely difficult.

Once I have cleared the majority, if not all of my belongings, I will then feel more comfortable and prepared to pursue admission to a psychiatric facility as I absolutely despise the thought of leaving all this stuff for my family to deal with.

I struggle with executive dysfunction.  This is definitely a contributing factor as to why I am struggling to this extent to sort and clear my belongings.

Basic organisational strategies may be of help and any related advice is appreciated.

Warmest Regards,

Lumara

[Lumara]

Hi @Sphinxly,

Thanks for the resources.  I'll attempt the chat feature when it's available.

Are you able to direct me to any service with 24hr chat support?

Warmest Regards,

Lumara

[Lumara]

Hi @LostAngel @Codex1 @Dimity @HenryX @chibam,

Apologies for the concern!

I didn't think to go into too much depth as my current concern is to remove a large amount of items quickly, so was hoping for advice on that topic.

I am not sure where this topic fits and was hoping to at least be pointed in the right direction.

To rephrase and expand;

I am seeking advice / suggestions or even assistance regarding removing a large amount of belongings.

I would like to be as discrete as possible with this removal process; although my family is supportive, I would prefer not to draw any attention to this as they would likely be concerned and almost definitely intervene.  Even with the best of intentions, their interference could make the situation extremely difficult.

Once I have cleared the majority, if not all of my belongings, I will then feel more comfortable and prepared to pursue admission to a psychiatric facility as I absolutely despise the thought of leaving all this stuff for my family to deal with.

I struggle with executive dysfunction.  This is definitely a contributing factor as to why I am struggling to this extent to sort and clear my belongings.

Basic organisational strategies may be of help and any related advice is appreciated.

Warmest Regards,

Lumara

[Lumara]

Hi @chibam,
 

I have expanded on my initial post to hopefully clarify. I tagged you.

"Most removal firms probably don't stick to a stringent schedule, and you would probably have difficulty finding one that's discrete."
This was my main concern in regards to hiring a removal service!

Since creating the post, I've realised it's probably best to try tackling it alone.  I was hoping there'd be a way to have physical help but I think that idea is adding to the stress for me as it may bring attention to the process.

Thank you for your suggestion. That was not something I had considered.

Warmest Regards,

Lumara

[Codex1]

@Former-Member

[Codex1]

@Lumara oh ok! I'm sorry for the confusion too. Um, I still think it would be difficult to find a removal service which can discreetly remove a whole lot of belongings all at once. But thanks again for reaching out for support. I'm sorry you're having a hard time coping with life. Maybe a psychiatric facility will help you the way you need and I hope you find support there as well as on here! All the best to you!

[HenryX]

Hello @Lumara 

It is really wonderful, I think, that you have responded to the various members who have offered suggestions and concerns, in the manner and detail that you have.

One option that may be worth considering is to request members of a local service group such as Lions Clubs International if they can assist with sorting, removal, redistribution and, or disposal of your belongings. Depending on your location (a county town may be difficult), such assistance would generally be offered and proceeded with in a discrete manner, with deference to your wishes. Another advantage of this could be that items which may be useful to others could be separated and distributed, in appropriate ways, to those who may be able to use them.

I am concerned for you, both with respect to your wish to not cause others concern, harm or distress as well as with respect to your reasons for having referred to your intention or wish to pursue admission to a psychiatric facility. I am in a similar situation, at age 70+ years, of trying to untangle myself and my possessions, in order that others do not have to undertake those tasks when I am unable or not here to do so. The issues that I am dealing with are both physical and psychological, mainly being  depression, both of which situations, I am working to improve.

It is my hope that you will remain active here on the forum. Your style of correspondence is one that I enjoy and, if you would wish to do so, I hope that we will have the opportunity of corresponding with each other and you with other members also.

If I, or any other member, can assist with navigating the forum structure and processes, we would be pleased to do so.

With My Best Wishes

@HenryX 

[Lumara]

Hi @HenryX,

Thank you for your kind reply and suggestion!

A recent change of events, now means I'll be moving soon.  Extremely soon, infact. 

Although moving is stressful, I want to look at this positively; as an opportunity to clear out many belongings without it appearing too strange to those close to me.

I ended up finding mention of the Swedish Death Cleanse on Dimity's thread and reseached the concept further.  Although it sounds rather morbid, it's actually a very practical approach!

I am not sure any of the following will be useful to anyone here, but I'll share just incase! (Or maybe you can direct me on where to go with this.)

1. Tell someone
Let somebody know you're going to start this!  They might be able to help you directly or even just telling a stranger online anonymously may help you stay on task.

2. Documentation
Organising all important documents, maybe passwords, anything that may be relevant in future.  Having all this stuff in one place is going to, ideally, reduce stress on yourself, currently, as well as others, later.

3. Strategize
This is not likely to be a quick and easy process, so having a plan may help.
Stop and reflect throughout and re-strategize again, if needed.
A plan can also mean having no plan, whatever works.

4. What to Hold Onto?
Essentially, this refers to things you NEED.  This concept is going to be so different for everyone, so reflecting on what you personally consider a need might be essential prior initiating the actual cleanse itself.

5. Where to start?
I guess, even just slightly, condensing each section of the house would be a great start.
But WHICH section?
Knowing where exactly to start is such a difficult task for me, personally.

Start somewhere EASY. 

If there's a cupboard or room of the house you are going to find 'easy' to cleanse, then that's your starting point!
Eg. Starting with sentimental items might be a huge emotional trigger, but old clothing could be an easier task.

Otherwise, just pick a section / cupboard / room / small area and see what happens.
Take time to reflect. 
If it's becoming overwhelming, take a break and think about why.

Also, I don't know where this fits, but a tip I read about sentimental items, souvenirs and photographs was to digitise them;
Take photos of them, write a journal entry about the item or experience/ memory it's connected to,  talk to the friend or family member it reminds you of.  Or even give it to that person if they will cherish it like you do. 

This can make it easier to let go of the physical item.

6. What to do with everything?
Give / Sell / Repurpose / Dispose

Giving items away might feel more productive than just throwing them out.
Gift things of sentimental value to people you value (if they want them and have space for them of course) or donate to legit charities so that people who actually want or need them will have access to them.

Try selling items of value. 
This makes more sense to me than just discarding things that are still useful/ in working order but just aren't useful to me or anyone I know.  This way, the money can go towards things I need now, like therapy sessions.
Although, I think if this adds more stress, which is possible, then skip it.

Get creative and repurpose things or reuse things practically before discarding completely.

Dispose of things that are broken.
I decided that if it's not immediately mendable, I am no longer keeping it in a pile of 'things to fix' that I'll never have the energy, time or skill to actually fix. As well as any items that are of poor quality/ will likely break, unless I'm going to use it in the near future (maybe in a few weeks) because if it's going to be stored for many months I'll probably forget about it anyway.

7. Organisation
After the above, there might be piles for donation and disposal to attend to but what's left to stay will need serious organisation.

My plan is to;
Assign everything a place.
Categorise similar items so they're easy to find.
And re-evaluate the things I need/ use frequently again later.

8. Keep decluttering
Decluttering is probably going to be an ongoing process, unfortunately.
Remembering to revisit the process after the initial cleanse will help keep things looking and feeling tidy and organised.
Plus making sure to not reclutter avoids having another huge task again later on.

I also think it's important to remind yourself WHY. Examples;

I am cleansing my living space of 'stuff' so that I can feel more at peace in my home,
I am discarding a lot of things I don't use so that my family don't have that stress put on them later,
I will keep up with decluttering because I enjoy the feeling of having a tidy space.

Because it's not just the physical task itself that's difficult, there's definitely an associated mental block.

Please don't feel the need to reply to this, I know it's a lot.

Warmest Regards,

@Lumara