Lived Experience Forum

[MDT]

ethical jobs is great as @hanami was pointing out

But also have a look at LinkedIn but use keywords in your search "NGO" for example or "charity" or just a google search in your city too my friend @Shasan

Also you will need an outlet during your job search

for me it is music or games

[hanami]

Great advice @MDT !

How are you feeling today @Shasan ? I was thinking about you this morning wondering if you'd picked up a little. 

Sending hugs

Hanami 💮

[confused_nomad]

It's horrible isn't it? I had a similar experience 4 yrs ago, narcissistic supervisor, team leader who didn't care about anyone, colleagues who discriminated and treated me like crap because of my mental illness (working in a mental health service where they 'encouraged people with lived experience to apply')

I ended up in hospital with depression 4 times over the space of about 3 months until I finally quit. 

Since then I've had one other job but I felt very put down by people all the time and decided to get out of working (I'm a trained psychologist but don't practice any more because of these experiences)

I'm now looking for a part time job, but I can't do the things I just spent 6yrs studying for because it's too triggering and traumatic - not dealing with clients, that part was fine, but dealing with managers and colleagues and the psychology board. I also can't do the career I previously had for 15 years and loved because I now have slipped disks & osteoarthritis and increasing dislocations from EDS, and the job was quite physical. 

I still have flashbacks to that one job in particular, and I'm terrified of going to interviews, starting new jobs etc. 

Hopefully we will both soon have a new job where there is no workplace bullying and people treat us fairly!

[tyme]

Hi @Shasan ,

I hear you, my dear. It's not easy owning a business. It can be so unpredictable at the best of times. When I had my business, it was a side gig because it simply couldn't give me the consistency I needed to survive. I was swamped with clients during peak seasons, then at other times, I was bored. Hence I held a part time job while pursuing a business. 

I don't think I could ever go fully into a business full time.

But definitely, keeping busy helped with my depression. It gave me something to be responsible for, something to wake up to, something to think about, something to look forward to. 

To be honest, in a lot of ways, I think that is why I enjoy working. I know it has the power to help me stay well 🙂

Kindest, tyme

[Shasan]

Hi @tyme @hanami @confused_nomad 

Thanks for checking in. I'm still oscillating between fine and not fine too be honest. I'm still thinking if I need medication or is this just part of life that I need to learn how to deal with coz I'm sure meds are not magic bullets either... I'll still need to work on all this myself. It's confusing and my anxiety is preventing me from taking action because I'm afraid of long term use and side effects. 

I'm afraid I'll make things worse for myself, instead of better and it'll go further down on this slippery slope. I'm just scared maybe, because I need to be the one to decide and I can't bring myself to do it yet. I've tried reading up about it to make an informed choice but it's hard. 

With work - I took a quick look at ethical jobs yesterday but will take a deeper look later this week. I'm running my own mindfulness group today, my biggest group yet with 20 ppl - I'm so grateful and happy 🥲. I feel confident and am looking forward to it - not feeling as joyous and excited right now but hopefully I will after the session is over because i also deal with performance anxiety like some teachers. I had to make it free because no one was joining if it was paid lol - struggles of a new teacher trying to gain experience. Let's see how it goes... 

@tyme I really love the reframing of working for mental health, just like exercising for mental health. Harder with the concept of work for those with trauma but I can see how that belief is more empowering and helpful. Thank you for offering it to me to anchor me at difficult times ❤️ Yes, full time business wow - I've just started and this is the most difficult part. I hope if I keep focusing on the input and my efforts, something will eventually come out of it. But like you said, it's so much about demand, timing etc.. A part-time job would definitely be helpful... 

I don't think I'm ready to apply just yet. My mind is fully focused on the business and may be the therapy I'm in will help and I'll be ready in 2 months time...

[hanami]

Hi @Shasan !

It's so great to hear from you! Wow that's a big mindfulness group. I imagine you were great! How do you feel it went?

I can completely relate to what you say about your wondering about medication. I must have oscillated for months before I started meds and for all the same reason as you mention. I was super dooper scared to start them even though I was spiralling further down the 'anxiety is taking over my life' hole. I was researching the jeepers out of the different medications and I would be almost convinced I'd give something a try then the next minute I would come across some negative reviews and I'd be back to square one. I finally realised I needed to stay aways from those reviews. My friend made a good point - that those who were feeling good on the meds were probably out living their life and not writing reviews. Those who had bad experiences were at home feeling awful and writing about it. I started medication and felt better within weeks. They took away those physical symptoms and allowed me to feel good enough to seek a psychologist. I believe too like you that medication is not a magic bullet and that you need other tools as well to help mental health.

Reading your post, it sounds like you have everything in place to succeed in your new venture. It really does sound exciting and I hope you can push through and trust that things will work out for the best. 

Sending positive vibes

Hanami

[tyme]

Congratulations on your mindfulness group @Shasan ! Sharing what you feel passionate about is so important. And with any business, word of mouth has the largest impact.

Give yourself time. Monitor how things are going, and see your GP if anything continues to linger or worry you. It takes time to be on the road to recovery, but certainly, there are strategies you can put in place to help you - mindfulness being one of them!

tyme

[Shasan]

Thank you @tyme 

I'm in therapy right now and we're uncovering a lot of stuff, it's not scary at all and I find it very exciting to be finding root causes & implementing shifts 🙂 

I feel so so so so much better compared to 2 weeks ago!! I feel the group even though it's pro-bono is giving me a huge dose of motivation, reminding me why I wanted to make this field my full-time job. 

I've faced so many scenarios in the past week that I used to feel anxious about, but in reality seen that I'm able to manage them quite well 😃 Not in a egoistic way but happy that in reality I'm actually capable compared to the anxious thoughts that would worry me in the past!! 

Yes, there are a lot of non- monetary benefits like meditation with a group that's so healing, meeting like minded people, hopefully word of mouth and Google reviews, but even without the last bit, it's such a fulfilling feeling just to be able to offer this and see that it's being taken up by so many. 

This has had a huge impact on my mood, confidence and health. Oh the best part, I've been able to refer people to SANE forums - so many out there feel isolated in their struggles and they no longer have to!!! 

🙏

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Shasan,

So lovely to read you sounding so well. I agree with you - I like therapy (just speaking from my own experience) because it allowed me to connect the dots of my past so I could better understand myself, my behaviours, my thinking and my feelings.

It's also great to read the positive changes to your mood, confidence and health - I'm really happy for you 🙂!

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather

PS - love this quote of yours :):

"Oh the best part, I've been able to refer people to SANE forums - so many out there feel isolated in their struggles and they no longer have to!!!"  

[Shasan]

Hi @FloatingFeather @tyme @hanami @MDT and othere, sorry if I missed tagging anyone.

Hope you're all doing well this week - how's work treating you, if you are working? Any success stories of resilience, quiet courage to try again, or just realisations? As I begin to ease into looking for jobs again - I can see how anxious it makes me. Your words will provide a bridge of support knowing that jobs are just jobs - it's in their nature to be a certain way and we can cope with whatever might come...

Regarding me, I have had a down week unfortunately but trying to count my blessings and feel grateful as much as I can.. I sprained my back randomly doing nothing 😂 and it was soooo annoying!!!! The catastrophic thoughts started coming in no time - the fear of health + finances is so stressful together. I've been noticing this is my main pattern - if it's one or the other, I can some what handle it but when it's both - I just get frozen I think and that feels like depression but it's actually a crazy level of stress maybe?? 

Grounding has been helping, relaxing imagery and telling myself " I'm safe. It's ok. We'll get there, you're ok" soothes a lot. 

But currently it looks like I start stressing about finding a job, out of fear about financial security especially when health goes sideways - it feels very anxious 😰

I know some things are out of our control, no one can predict what can happen but we can try our best to do what's in our control...  it feels like I'm trying to fix that uncertainty by having money if needed for big or long term procedures 🤔🤔It's like my brain is stuck predicting dooms day scenarios.. I have worrying symptoms and I'm doing what I can to stay on top of them but the worry of how this will all turn out is overly negative...  Why am I stuck in this loop and how can I just accept that things may not turn out as bad as it seems, and even if they do, I'll ___________ (don't know this answer, I think this is why I'm stressing?)

Thank you for giving me this kind space to share my ups n downs as I find my way back to earning an income while setting up the business to eventually, hopefully be my full-time job.

Other than Glassdoor, do you know other ways to check about a company's environment before working there? I might just gave to trial and error, start with 2 days or something coz that's the only sure way of knowing... Are there jobs out there for someone to work just 2 days? I don't mean to sound lazy or like a slacker, I'm forcing myself to focus on my business for the other 3 days so that I set up a stable income through the business but do the job as a side hustle..

Thank you so much.