Lived Experience Forum

[Angels333]

Thanks @Molliex It's not a good morning,  I'm a bit of a mess.

I will keep you posted, my appointment is at 11.30 and I have DBT at 12.30 -3.30pm I might not have time to post until after that.

Thinking of you too Molliex what day do you fly out now?

[Molliex]

Deep breathes. You will be ok @Angels333. Write stuff down if it helps. I'm with you 🌻

Still another week until I go. 

[Angels333]

@Molliex @Snowie @Maggie @Owlunar @Appleblossom @Former-Member @eth @Shaz51 @MDT @Zoe7 

So I just tagged a few of you my friends!   I just thought I would share an update.   My SH is mildly better than it has been, which on the whole is a huge improvement.    Not to say that it isn't happening and that I don't feel totally messed up by it as it is still there and and I feel a  total mess.   My DBT psychologist thinks it's an addiction now and I felt so humiliated when he said that.     I didn't see it as such but now I wonder if he may be right.    Either way it's still very difficult for me to stop.  I do want to say that I get so much support from the forum.  I don't see my cardiologist until the 18th October so my meds won't be changing until at least a week after that.   So I'm going to try my best to get some control back over the SH in the meantime. 

I'm hoping to post daily about it so hopefully I can be accountable to you guys.   

Thanks,  Angels333 

[Former-Member]

Good on you @Angels333  👍

Being accountable to others can be very beneficial I find. I hope it will prove to be the case for you. I look forward to reading your daily updates.

Sherry 💓

[Angels333]

Thanks @Former-Member enjoy the football. 

[MDT]

Hey @Angels333
Thanks for letting me know. Always happy to support a fellow forumite 🙂

SH is hard. I've not had personal experience with it. However SI I have. I think I see where your psych is coming from when he says that. Don't let it get to you too much my friend.

Keep posting if you feel that's what you need to do my friend. Always tag me. I'm happy to hear you out and help in whatever way

[Molliex]

🦋🌻Proud of you. Here for you @Angels333 🌻🦋🌈

[Maggie]

Me too @Angels333  proud of you. 💕💕

@Molliex  hi. 💜💕💜💕

@MDT @Former-Member @Snowie 💜💕💜💕

[Appleblossom]

Walking along the road with you.

@Angels333 

[Angels333]

@Appleblossom @Maggie @Molliex @MDT @Former-Member @eth @BlueBay @outlander @Adge @Shaz51 

SH is frustrating me atm, part of me wants to escalate the injury.  Sometimes it's these brief flashes of being suicidal that come too.   I don't know why I'm like this...  

But I have a real concern about an escalation in injury.     It's 5 months now since I attempted suicide and I have a similar impulsive feeling mixed with ruminations around SH I feel helpless to fight it.     It's been happening on and off for the 5 months since my last hospitalization but the last month there has been a change and it's much worse.    I feel like I have lost control.   I don't know what to do.

It actually was a little better yesterday and I was able to resist but I just feel like a mess today.    

Sorry it's all so negative.