})
Something’s not right
Oh and no need to respond @Phoenix_Rising I am going to keep posting stupid things to you (just for my amusement) and when you finally come in to shore you can curl up in your corner and snooze for a while... I even cleaned it for you...
@Lunar I am not a very good swimmer these days - not at all fit - couldn't even ride a wave in the toddlers pool lol so the floatation device for me is a must - even have a doggie life jacket for Toby to take him on the kayak with me...
@Zoe7 I think the opposite action thing is super cool. One of the biggest issues in my life these days is the social isolation. When I was working, I really noticed how I could be super depressed, drag myself to work, and then feel better at work because I had to put on a happy face and faking a happy face actually made me feel better...and then I'd crash again when I got home. It is much harder to do the opposite action thing when totally alone - not impossible (e.g. I can watch funny youtube clips) but much harder. It's a good thing Friday Feast is coming up tomorrow night - I'm looking forward to it!!!
I'm going to go and snuggle under my weighted blanket (both here in Sydney and in the octagonal room 
) for a while to deal with my big feelings, so don't worry that I disappear. I will check in when I emerge from under my blanket. Thank you for sitting nearby while I ride the wave. It super helps to know that I'm not alone as I ride it. Knowing others are nearby means that my brain CAN'T get into the overwhelming spiral of "there's no-one" on top of the big feelings I'm already dealing with. That super helps me to maintain my 100% perfect track record of surviving every day living with BPD.
Here's a new print for the wall in your corner when you get there - put it up anywhere you like @Phoenix_Rising
@Lunar I like the idea of SOMEONE riding alongside me...but probably not a dozen someones Last time I was riding a wave, some lovely people on the forum commented on how they were holding me up. That didn't work for me - I am extremely selective in who I let actually touch me. So...basically I need someone (or a small number of someones...not too many someones) NEAR me, but I don't need anyone actually helping me (unless I clearly state "I need help")...and I definitely don't need anyone touching me. Hmmm...I have been told many times over the years that I'm demanding, rigid and impossible to please...reading that paragraph, I really don't know how people arrive at that opinion of me 
. BTW do you watch Big Bang Theory? Sheldon Cooper? Yeah...he makes me giggle because he is so much like me...sad but true. Thanks for riding with me...at a distance...over there...but not too far away .
