Lived Experience Forum

[Ace85]

I'm one of those people that seems to experience similar negative experiences again and again. I have previously failed something a couple of times and recently I failed again - I guess my negativity kinda led to it. I was so upset and the staff members kept me in a room for 3 hours and didn't want me to leave. I finally got frustrated, grabbed my stuff and headed for the door. They called after me and ran after me and tried to barricade the door, they even tried to grab me. I felt like a trapped animal trying to escape. And I eventually even dumped my stuff and ran toward the parking lot, but they had a security guard chase after me. 

I was then led back to the building and an ambulance was called and I was scheduled. I tried to refuse to go, but they said if I didn't go in the ambulance, that they would call the police. I spent 2 1/2 hours at the hospital last night. And after a traumatic day I was exhausted, my face was white and I had purple lines under my eyes. 

I have spent the majority of the day curled up in bed, my head still hurts, I have a very small appetite and feel like I can't face anyone. I'm so embarrassed about failing again, and about how I reacted. I don't know what my future holds now, or where to go from here. *Feeling Miserable*

[CherryBomb]

Hello @Ace85

Sounds like you have experienced an intensely stressful time. I can understand how it can be hard to see beyond 'failure', particularly when it has happened a few times over to the point where it start to feel predictable. I'd like to gently remind that as humans we are imperfect beings, and things can happen in ways we don't want, or perhaps we behave in ways that we are ashamed of. It's a very human experience. Remember that your actions don't define who you are. There's so much more to you then what's happened. The few things that have not worked out recently does not define your whole being. When bad things happen, it's easy to focus on them, and doing this can make us forget about the other good things and accomplishments that we have in our life. 

Can you tell me about moments where you felt at your best, and have felt bad and worked through it? My point in asking these questions is to remind that there's more to you than failings. 

CB

[CherryBomb]

Hello @Ace85

Sounds like you have experienced an intensely stressful time. I can understand how it can be hard to see beyond 'failure', particularly when it has happened a few times over to the point where it start to feel predictable. I'd like to gently remind that as humans we are imperfect beings, and things can happen in ways we don't want, or perhaps we behave in ways that we are ashamed of. It's a very human experience. Remember that your actions don't define who you are. There's so much more to you then what's happened. The few things that have not worked out recently does not define your whole being. When bad things happen, it's easy to focus on them, and doing this can make us forget about the other good things and accomplishments that we have in our life. 

Can you tell me about moments where you felt at your best, and have felt bad and worked through it? My point in asking these questions is to remind that there's more to you than failings. 

CB

[Appleblossom]

Sorry to hear about this traumatic incident@Ace85

Rest for now and try to recentre. Go gently..

[Appleblossom]

I have been thinking of you...

Hope you areworking through this flare up ... do you have any proper support irl

Let me be the one whose lost her licence @Ace85 I have 4 days of driving left ...

[Ace85]

Hi @Appleblossom Thanks for thinking of me. I have to say, though so many things have been feeling familiar to the past, the big difference is that now I have a niece and nephew, who I see every few days, and spending time with them temporarily brings me out of my dark mood - especially when my nephew laughs so hard, I end up laughing. 

I'm sorry to hear about your license. Do you live in an area with good public transport? That makes a big difference! 

[Appleblossom]

Glad you can experience the joys of children.  They can jiggle us out of uncomfortable feelings, often without meaning to .. just by being them.

My last day of driving today ... not in a really good area for public transport ... 20 mins hike to station ... but essentials are close ...doctor supermarket and chemist.

I am preparing for it mentally in a positive way tho I may get cranky when I am actually experiencing it ... I read you had lost yours once ... this is my first time. Partly I am relieved as I have been doing a lot of chauffeuring ...

Glad you are still posting.

[Jacques]

Good luck @Appleblossom, I will be counting down the days.

[Ace85]

@Appleblossom Yes, I lost my license a few years ago and didn't drive for 2 years. I also live in an area where public transport is the pits, so I had to rely on others to take me pretty much everywhere. I was also under 25 at the time, so was ineligible for help from Centrelink, so I couldn't afford to use taxis etc (it costs almost $20 just to go to the train station 10 minutes away)

Thinking of you, Appleblossom! You seem to be handling it better than I did. I'm currently waiting for my doctor to sign my RTA form this year. I've never had any problems before, but this time she wanted to contact my specialist first - who I've only met once (and didn't like). 

[Former-Member]

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