Roses are red, violets are blue, here's a poetry thread, from me to you! (TW)

[creative_writer]

I allowed the world deceive me
into listening to the words that never mattered.

[Sparky79]

 

[Sparky79]

[Sparky79]

[avant-garde]

talking about my mother

how I remember her

bits and pieces, tiny snippets

and part of how it hurt

I have few distinct memories

of times with her and me

a number of her abusing me

to get in on the action

a few of her stuck in her past

a few of stupid ideas

a few of her getting hurt

one of her fighting spirit

I remember her in hospital

dad said that mum was sick

said that we couldn't see her

that she wasn't better yet

the day that she came home

I ran and hugged her legs

except she didn't remember me

that mummy needed space

that mummy wasn't better

the treatment didn't work

she became a housewife

she wasn't my mum anymore

we walked to school and home again

she eventually remembered me

though she wasn't my mother anymore

not how she used to be

she did as she was told

she didn't have a voice

she denied the abuse

she eventually got involved

two parts of her were fighting

the one that remembered me

remembered that I cared for her

and who she was to me

then the one that hurt me

was involved in what was done

the one that didn't care for me

I didn't like that one

@Appleblossom 

[Appleblossom]

@avant-garde 

Not many words.

Yes, sometimes the person splits. I guess we have big words like structural dissociation….

my mother only ever walked me to school the first time, we were in a new place. We moved a lot. When I, or siblings were attacked, in one way or another, she was not capable of showing interest, or concern, let alone taking protective action. 

just gently bently.

[avant-garde]

@Jynx @Dreamy 

over 10 years ago 

I went to this so called rehab

I don't really talk about it

what they did to me

they didn't believe a word I said

told I was manipulating

nothing I did was right

and so I was punished

they withheld my medication

and wondered why I'd faint

why I couldn't breathe

I was told I was a fake

the things I once enjoyed

soon became a trigger

making bracelets, singing

gifts to then exploit

it wasn't an addiction

something they could stop

it was how I was raised

how I had been taught

they burned my poetry

told me I was possessed

that I talked to myself

that God told them what I said 

questions weren't encouraged

you just did as you were told

kept your head down and mouth shut

told you wouldn't go home

forced into situations

that put my life at risk

Content/trigger warning

was raped repeatedly

while I was in their care

told me I'd been lying

that God had told them so

bullied, abused, neglected

by the leaders of their world

I try to do it all again

the things I used to love

but now there's trauma in it

tainted by my past

[Dreamy]

@avant-garde oh my sweetheart, these words are so heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for what you have been through, the wrongs that have been done to you are just completely unfair. To try to get help only to be abused and traumatised even more, it makes me so sad cos I know all too well what it's like. 

There's nothing i can say to take away the pain, God i wish I could so badly. But please know I'm sitting with you, I'm here for you and I'm holding you tight while you are hurting ❤️.

[avant-garde]

@Dreamy I'm holding my dreamy plushie

[Dreamy]

@avant-garde and i just ran and grabbed avant-garde. I'm holding you sweet ❤️