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Hi there forumite friends! Welcome to the thread I’ve titled Jude’s Jungle which is basically a personal discussion thread whereby I can come and post things that are on my mind and as a safe space for me to connect and belong to. I’m a Community Guide here and have been for 2 years but this is my first time having a personal page here in the forums related specifically to me and my mental health illnesses and recovery journey.
I’ve called this area a jungle as I feel that there are parts of my mental health recovery journey and subsequent 3 mental illnesses - depression, schizophrenia and Borderline Personality Disorder- that can be scary at times and have weird yet wonderful things happen to me, kinda like animals appearing out of nowhere in a jungle of sorts and having to deal with them. There are many different things that I experience in the form of episodes and I’d line to think that by having this area, I can safely get the thoughts out and maybe feel less scared or concerned about what’s going on in my life.
Feel free to comment if you like on anything I mention here. Like I said, it’s a personal page but any comments are welcome and I appreciate your views and thoughts to things I may post.
To start things off with, I’ve included a photo of the Lego critters I made from a Lego kit I purchased yesterday afternoon after having a dream of wanting to play with and build with Lego. I was never really interested in Lego as a kid and therefore never had any Lego to play with as a child (I’m more crafty and love knitting and crochet with the occasional bit of cross stitch added for good measure although I also like drawing abstract designs and colouring them in as well to help me relax) so to buy some Lego yesterday was a real treat. I had at least an hour reading the instructions and putting together the bricks to make the creatures and was amazed at how bricks can make different creatures with cute looks! I think Lego will become part of my coping strategies tool kit selection from now on. Maybe you like using and playing with Lego yourself? Lego definitely isn’t just for kids as I discovered yesterday afternoon with the fun I had with it!
Thanks for taking the time to read this discussion thread!
Take care and stay safe!
Judi9877☺️💐🍀🌻
Good afternoon @Appleblossom @hanami @jay2 @Oaktree and everyone visiting the jungle this afternoon’s on. Welcome and thanks for stopping by for my next instalment of my life. It’s very much appreciated!
Today it’s freezing cold in Melbourne where I am so it’s a day of curling up in bed with some crochet in the form of my crochet granny square blanket that I’ve been working on since March (it’s a special blanket as I decided to start it after having a period of suicidal ideation snd thinking due to being stagnant in my life at that time and I’ve continued to pick it up every so often to work on it. It gives me peace and helps calm my mind as I’m put into a state where I have to count stitches on the crochet hook to make the blanket form it pattern so it’s like mindfulness in that regard. I’ll post a photo of it later on when I get around to doing so. I will let you know that I’m currently in a good state of mind so I’m okay mentally so please don’t be concerned about me!).
I’ve also been working on a 2nd sleeve of a kids jumper for charity that I’m trying to get completed as the charity really needs jumpers. My goal is to get it done by the end of the week or maybe next week so I can sew it up and add it to my collection of items I’ve been knitting for the charity of choice. I’ve just got to clean up my bedroom and find all the items I’ve knitted over the past year to take to a donation point for the charity to collect and distribute to the needy people.
In relation to my knitting and crochet, I also cross stitch every now and then and noticed that when I got diagnosed with my mental illnesses, my creative side really took off and I fell in love with craft type hobbies. I knitted a jumper for myself in my first year of uni when the mental illness was bad and I was struggling to come to terms with being both a uni student and a person with a mental illness. Knitting gave me something to do besides study and I got something out of it at the end of it. Now, I knit beanies, blankets and jumpers for charity with beanies being my ‘go to’ item whenever I feel stressed or upset as it helps calm me down and feel safe as I know the beanie pattern off by heart and it really helps me. I find that knitting and crochet gives me something to do and allows me the opportunity to be creative in terms of colours of yarn and patterns that I choose to do for the items. When I was in hospital last September for a 9 day admission, I started knitting a blanket for myself which I called my Mental Health Recovery Blanket which is still a work in progress along with many other items that I’ve started and am yet to complete. One of my proudest moments recently was a jumper I started on Christmas Day as I purchased wool as a present for myself and I recently completed it and love it, despite it being a little too big for me. I’ve also recently purchased some more yarn from Spotlight to knit a jumper for myself but right now, it’s charity knitting time so I’ll focus on that. I’ve also included a photo of some beanies I’ve knitted as well for you to see. Sorry for the upside down photo!
Like I said, craft hobbies have helped me with my mental illness journey and I feel very grateful and happy to have these skills and qualities in my life.
Talk later!
Judi9877☺️💐🧶
Good afternoon @Former-Member @BPDSurvivor @Appleblossom @hanami @jay2 @tyme @Former-Member @FloatingFeather @Daisydreamer @Paperdaisy and all forumites joining me here this Sunday afternoon in the jungle. How are you?
Here today in the jungle, I’m having a relaxing afternoon knitting a blanket for myself that I’ve partially completed - 6 strips of 150cm long with 3 to go and then 2 more strips of 180cm to make the blanket 190cm high x 180cm wide. Yesterday, my housemate/best friend helped me tidy up my room and she put a heap of wool into a bag for me so I’ve decided to only use that wool to knit the rest of the blanket (or at least until the bag runs out) and then I’ll add more wool to the bag and do the same thing again. I think it’ll help me get my wool collection down and hopefully limit the amount of wool I buy at Spotlight which I’ve had issues with as I tend to buy wool but not use it when I get it as I have so many other projects on the go.
As I type, the weather is cold and windy and overcast from what I can see outside my bedroom window here in Melbourne. I’ve got no music on so I’m just listening to the household and neighbourhood sounds in the environment which is weird yet kind of calming as well. I’ve also been using this type of relaxation to try and calm my mind as I have several things on the go mentally which need working out, predominately relating to study ideas/goals and what I want to do with my life which is very confusing yet distracting and disturbing at the same time. It’s like I can’t settle so that’s not a nice feeling for me to have at the moment. I will admit that yesterday I had a day whereby I actually wasn’t bored which I feel is an accomplishment for me as I’ve struggled with boredom lately, especially after having a bad period with the issue in March which ended up with me in a bad place mentally. I think I have trouble with wanting things now and I’ve grown impatient over the years with me struggling to accept that things take time to happen and I can’t have things instantly. That’s particularly true with studying as I’ve sabotaged myself so many times over the past few years with nearly finishing courses yet not actually completing them. That looks bad and I don’t like myself for this when I look back on these periods but it’s something that’s happened and I have to accept it. It’s who I am and I know my mental illnesses have had something to do with all of this in my life, especially the BPD component of my illnesses which can be a very challenging illness to deal with at times. I just have to try and settle down into something and stick with it someway, somehow. I’ve also got to chase up some volunteer opportunities that I spoke to some organisations about at the end of last month as well so hopefully things change and improve on that front. At least volunteering will give me something to do during my week if I don’t end up studying.
The beanie photo below is something I completed on Wednesday night - the first day of winter- and will be given to a charity that I knit for. I find that knitting, and often beanies in general, help me whenever I’m stressed or am having a bad time mentally as the pattern helps calm me down and refocus, making me feel better and more calmer.
Okay. Time for me to leave the jungle or more like it, go to a spot where I can relax and knit my blanket. In my head, I see me sitting on the beach on the sand, listening to the waves crash against the sand and the rocks, which I find to be very calming and soothing in a way. The sun is shining but it’s not too warm yet too cold either which is totally different to my location and weather here today on this Sunday afternoon in June in Melbourne.
Enjoy the rest of your Sunday and I hope to see you in the jungle sometime later!
Judi9877☺️🌻🧶