Lived Experience Forum

[Wondersoft]

Gday @Jay784 

As well as providing excellent, trauma informed phone support, BlueKnot website has great resources and information, including list of psychologists who say they specialise in complex trauma. No guarantee of course, but this led me to a Sydney psychologist for initial zoom assessment - I live in regional SA.

Through her network she suggested a suitable Adelaide psych who I've now made appointment with. Besides the c-ptsd assessment, she recommended emdr, rather than more retraumatising rational thinking cbt. She also recommend juggling which I'm now practising and loving (leave you to discover why) 😉. She advised me to always ask any potential therapist if they specialise in complex trauma and dissociation, and not to go with anyone who only deals with straight ptsd.

I made my most recent painful mistake in putting myself through more extended cbt following assessment for (non-complex) ptsd by a highly reputable psych group. Despite explaining over and over that my trauma was complex/developmental/relational, and how the program wasn't working for me, the psych insisted it would and encouraged me to persist. Only after, through BlueKnot, did I find out how c-ptsd is similar and so different from ptsd. Unfortunately, once again, I had to learn the hard way.

After this I'd just about given up on any further psych therapy 'experiments' until I discovered BlueKnot and followed my now well-informed nose.

So keep on going Jay with your courage and determination to learn about yourself and heal with help from the right people.

A book I'd also recommend for complex trauma is Reclaim by Dr Ahona Gula, a forensic psych I heard speak at this year's Byron writers festival.

Best wishes

[Wondersoft]

Ps Jay, have never heard that a therapist must have gone through cptsd, just that they specialise in complex ptsd

[Wondersoft]

Helpful to hear your experience @Emelia8and thanks for your encouragement. Sounds right to me 

[Patches59]

Hi @Jay784   I reached out once to BlueKnot for help and lady I spoke to was great.  I phoned as was feeling low and was emotionally /in tears for few consecutive days.  Following few general questions she asked me a specific question which helped me gain insight to cause of why I was feeling so upset.  I had approx 30min phone counselling session which helped me a lot.

@Wondersoft I have had brief read of information on BlueKnot website, wasn’t aware of the list of psychologists that you mentioned.  I feel comfortable talking with my current psychologist with her information saying she has interest in and experience with trauma.

Have had 4, maybe 5, sessions with her during which has been zero discussion about my past and areas of need.

[Wondersoft]

Hi @Patches59 

Hope you get heaps out of working with your psychologist. Not sure if you meant you are happy or unhappy with "zero discussion about your (my) past and areas of need"?

I've never worked with any psychologist without an 'interest in and experience with trauma' but I now understand they were not necessarily providing me trauma informed therapy. This is what BlueKnot are on about. 

I've now learned how complex ptsd is different from 'standard' ptsd, as is their treatment. Although we can only do so much before we trust any health professional, I'll never work with another psych on blind trust without asking more informed questions of them.

Hard to think of any psychologist without an 'interest in and experience with trauma'

[Patches59]

Hi @Wondersoft   First time I saw anyone to help with MH was in early 2018, few months after my mum died.  I wasn’t coping without her and her sudden death, had made full detailed plans how I was going to permanently end my pain plus take my only pet with me.  Following morning thoughts on impact on young cousins my actions could have.  Instead of going to vet and local dr I only went to local dr who referred me to psychiatrist who placed me on some type of meds and that I worked with for couple yrs.  When I ceased working with him he had already weaned me off all meds.

current psychologist spent first first 2 sessions going through timeline of traumatic events I’ve experienced within last 50years.  Next session focussed on talking me down due to being very upset by actions of person who claimed to be a friend.  Other 2sessions our chats were about my preparations to me and how I was feeling after the move, last session was 3 days after I moved and I was feeling really good and happy.

I struggle with trusting people at best of times and she is aware of this and has explained she knows that is normal due to my past.  I’m unsure how many sessions will take place before we start to ‘unpack’ (as she calls it) my past to help me come to terms with each event.  Would say feeling bit unhappy we haven’t started dealing with my past but has been lots of other things happening recently.

I have initial appointment mid next month with psychiatrist which I’m looking forward to and am hoping to get help to sort out meds.  I’ve been on antidepressants for about 3mths now and on good days feel I near the top of the mountain.  When I crash I feel I’m instantly back at bottom of the mountain and am buried under pile of rocks.  I have no middle ground.  Local dr who did the referral has verbally said he believes it CPTSD and has requested witching referral for assessment to be done.

yesterday when I spoke to MH nurse at local SI prevention unit she advised me to ask more questions of psychologist relating to impact of disclosing SI thoughts plus to do same when I see psychiatrist. In first session with psychologist she said if I have SI thoughts she has to involve 3rd party, words unsettled me and I was too scared to ask fore more information.  One of my fears is being placed into psych ward same as I saw what happened to my dad when I was in my 20’s, memories that are not pleasant

[Wondersoft]

So glad @Patches59 you're accessing lots of support. Stay with it one foot after the other.

Agree it's so important to fully describe your current symptoms to psychiatrist, especially the highs and lows. Do you know what mh condition your dad had?

Also, from my experience, being caught in the divide between the medical psychiatrist and therapy psychologist can be confusing and frustrating. Important to talk to both of them about this unless you're sure they're keeping each other informed? 

[Patches59]

@Wondersoft  With my dad, the way it was described to my mum and me by psychiatrist was that my dad initially had 24 hr stroke for which was never treated. Scan that was done years later showed severe scarring from more than one stroke.  

Damage to his brain changed him from placid to physically and verbally aggressive and was not detected until approx 10years after initial stroke.

phone call earlier today, tomorrow afternoon I have initial appointment with local MH team.  Guy who phoned advised team consists of various staff including psychologist and psychiatrist who all work together on all aspects of the helping each person.  He advised they work on holistic approach, provide updates to local gp plus any current therapists.  

[Wondersoft]

Sounds great. Good luck.

Re your dad, I was wondering if may be any genetic mh condition relevant to your mh but not the case with stroke 

[Patches59]

@Wondersoft  I have never thought about possible genetic linkage with MH, am not worried if there is or not.  When he was 45year old my dads only brother ended his life, I was 9 year old and have never fully come to terms with loosing him.  First death I had ever had to deal with and, nothing against my parents, was told by parents I would be ok.  Still remember being a confused little girl trying to work out why 3 adults (my parents and my dads dad) were angry, why my uncle wasn’t there and why there was a ‘mess’ in the lounge room.

Things I’ve been able to piece together as an adult is my uncle had stomach/abdominal pains for quite awhile and was waiting on outcome of test results, results showing it was something minor that came few days after he ended his life.  His dad had been nagging him about could be something serious for weeks.