Living with Ourselves

[Sophia1]

hello @eudemonism 

Good that you already are budgeting...I am sure that you have noticed where it has helped having some money put aside in emergencies..

Using money that would otherwise be spent on your tobacco is also a strong move..as you are making that a lower priority and looking after your self, pets, home.

block out curtains are very effective with keeping heat out and keeping the house cooler.

I am sure that it would have been lovely sitting on a jetty this morning soaking up everything going on around you...

Then you laid on the grass and cloud watched...wow..did you see anything that resembled something?

Was your dog looking up at the sky also following where you were looking?dogs are man's best friend...a very true statement...

Unsure about the exact finish time of new home...our builder is a local builder whom my husband has known for decades...he has a very cool...laid back attitude...and is hopeless at returning phone calls or text messages...so husband always goes to see him personally...even then he doesn't always follow through straight away ...

I think that he is building about 10 houses about the place not all where we live but up to 30 minutes drive away across the hills...so is very busy...

There is still a fair bit to be done and husband is finishing off stuff and doing some of the work himself..

I do hope that we will be in there by christmas...

Thank you for taking an interest...

I should be feeling ecstatic....but this blasted depression is lingering and depleting any energy that I have as well as the virus...

Each night I try to think about the colours and flooring etc...usually keeps me awake though..

Every morning I get up with the intent of a new and better day..

It will come..

You sound like you have a green thumb with the success of your fig tree....

Well bedtime ...pill time...hopefully get some sleep

hoping that you have a restful night too.

goodnight Eude

speak soon

Sophia 💚

[Sophia1]

Yes @Maggie 

bureaucracy....mixed with incompetent staff who do not care....who treat people like a number....not what you need when looking for a permanent home.

that must be so frustrating for you...

the blossom has been beautiful..

I don't have any bulbs here ...there would be plenty sprouting at the house we sold last year...can't believe it is actually a year yesterday that we moved into here...good heavens..

I shall plant some bulbs when we get into the new place and get to the stage of planning the garden..

water is extremely healing...I can imagine the negative words impacting on the plant growth...that is why some greenhouses have classical music playing ...

You are doing amazingly considering what you have had to put up with of late in particular the housing crisis...

You are enough also Maggie....how hard we are on ourselves...

thank you for replying..

hope that you have some rest tonight.

Sophia 💚

[Sophia1]

Yes @greenpea 

the people actually spoil the image...take away the tranquility...

I like quiet beaches and hate it when someone parks themselves close by when there are miles of empty beach for them to sit...

Look after yourself also dear pea...I miss my neighbours the cows...as in actual cows laugh...not rudely speaking about people as that term can be used that way...

I will leave it there before I put my foot in any further.

goodnight

sleep tight

Sophia💜

[Sophia1]

sorry to hear that you have had a hard day today @outlander 

I imagine that it becomes all too hard at times of late...

do as little as others as is needed for their care..

then close your door and look after you...figuratively speaking also...

you are in preparation time for your operation ....your body needs rest...along with your mind...

you are probably sick of hearing all of this by now..

perhaps some of it might sink in...

I do understand as it is as though I am talking about myself from a younger age through many years....

up until my diagnosis really if I think about it..

hope that you too get some sleep...

we all on here need sleep that seems so hard to achieve..

goodnight

take care

Sophia 💜

[outlander]

Im doing my best to look after myself @Sophia1 i get to anxious resting so i nees to find ways to be productive but without getting the risk of getting sick etc. Its only 2 and abit weeks away now and going very quickly and still quite abit that needs doing so i think ill be occupied.
Ive already reduced my work but cant do a lot about family unfortunately. Just have to do thr best i can hey.
Not to sure about sleep yet. Im use to not sleeping though. Hope you get some good sleep though 💜💜

[greenpea]

@Sophia1 xxx

[eudemonism]

@Sophia1  last Thursday i changed the brand of coffee i been using for awhile now. And it seems to have made me start waking up early in the mornings. Which i hate because there's absolutely stuff all for me to do in the early hours of the morning . Apart from smoke and drink coffee + check my phone .

For awhile i was switching off all screens at sunset and just laying in bed and thinking in the dark until i fell asleeep and waking up at blue hour / day break. Feeling refreshed and ready for the day . But just recently it's been upset by something. Warming of the weather. A few big days of exercise (which made my depot meds release quicker ) food I've eaten . An alcohlic drink . Changing stuff around in the house . Not sure what's done it exactly... It's a process of elimination regards finding out and doing something about what's caused this waking up early in the morning . (Which i hate)

My dog just kept an eye on the other dog in the park . Who was there with his family . He's an avid watcher/starer of other dogs and animals. It's a collie or kelpie thing . I don't think he was overly worried about clouds . I do have to accept his behaviour and nature as he is . Otherwise I'd send myself mad trying to control him. Hence i just always keep him on a lead . I think the big thing with dogs . Is getting them into obedience classes and puppy school at a young age. But with my dog there was no puppy school or obedience classes because i couldn't afford it and i got him when he was already 2 or 3 months old . I've tried to teach him.  But he's as arrogant and stubborn as they come. Likes to walk all over me if he can. However. Half the problem maybe myself worrying without good reason . Just seen clouds to, nothing specific came through .. I also seen alot of those black specs and squiggly lines in my vision .

Is it a brick or wood house you're having built? And have you been for any scenic drives recently?

[Adge]

Thanks for your kind thoughts & wishes @Sophia1

Much appreciated.

I'm totally overwhelmed, yet trying to be pro-active & caring.

Adge

[Shaz51]

ohhhh @Adge sorry you are feeling soo overwhelmed my friend xxx

Hello @Sophia1 , @eudemonism , @greenpea , @outlander 

[Sophia1]

Hello @Shaz51 @Adge @eudemonism @greenpea @Maggie @outlander @Former-Member 

I am not in a good state of mind at all..

my depression is back in full swing again..

I cancelled a carer's day out which would have been wonderful ...on the river...

I just could not face other people...I know that I would just melt and be crying...so rather than affect others and feel worse myself..I cancelled..

I mentioned on other thread I am putting off lunch with friends ...one in particular I get on very well with...I just cannot bring myself to go out to lunch with them...I am even frightened to tell them that I cannot make it at the moment...I hate being dishonest...

I don't want to see family...

I am just feeling blech..

will leave it there

do not want to bring any of you down as you all have your own issues..

You do matter to me..

Sophia