Lived Experience Forum

[Gazza75]

@BlueBay, not sure what to say, but, I hear you. 

Your definitely not a pathetic terrible Mum. You sound really overwhelmed at the moment.  Just take it slow and be gentle with yourself.  I'm glad to hear from you and that you are reaching out for support and help.  It takes a lot of courage to do what you do.

I/we are all supporting you. 

[MDT]

@BlueBay my awesome friend!
I do hope you have a rest day today. You are in a place that's hard to cope atm my friend.
Things are rarely ever meant to "be" a certain way.
Don't beat yourself up when you are down.
Keep posting and sharing we are supporting you through it 🙂
Thinking of you my friend 🙂

[BlueBay]

@MDT @Gazza75 @Owlunar @Maggie @Shaz51 

Need to ask my son for money - but I feel ashamed embarrassed pathetic and terrible mum to do this. I know we’ve asked him before and he’s been really good. But how many times do I need to ask. Imagine what he thinks. 

I can’t do it. 

I had a terrible lunch - emotional ate. 

That sucks. 

I don’t even know where we’ll go to move to.

i don’t even want thst job now. 

I just want nothing. 

Feeling overwhelmed and worthless is horrible. 

My daughter told me today jokingly that she can’t wait to move out. I took it to heart and told her the same. 

Im outside on the deck listening to birds eith a coffee. 

I just don’t know the answers to any of my problems. 

My doctor said I need to start saying positive things. I told him even if I don’t believe those words. He said yes to just keep telling myself. 

Hiws thst going to wirk. 

Im stuffed. Tired and have a headache from the crying. 😢😢

dont know if I can hold on until tomorrow afternoon when I see my psychologist 

[Gazza75]

Hang in there @BlueBay .

Maybe you can talk to your husband and get him to ask your son for the money.  I'm sure your son doesn't think poorly of you for it, and happy to help you. 

I hope the birds and coffee bring you some peace and calm.  Has your sleep been getting any better?  Maybe you can bring that up with the psych if you are still struggling.  I think when you have some more space that it will be a little easier for you.

Here for a little while if you need to vent or talk BB 🙂

Lots of hugs and 

[BlueBay]

You’re so kind @Gazza75  Thankyou ❤️

No my sleeping is still crap. I woke up st 3am then 5am. By the time it was 7 I just got up. There was no point in staying in bed. 

Yeah I think I’ll ask hubby to ask our son. After all it’s his problem as well not just me. 

But as a mum I tske things so personally dnd feel its a reflection on me. 

Wish I could just let go of a lot of things. But I just don’t know how. 

I’m even pushing hubby away when he wants to be intimate. It’s so hard when I’m tired lacking any interest in intimacy and then feel like a real b...ch of a wife when I push him away. 

Its me. I just can’t do anything right. 

I’m sorry @Gazza75  im venting so much. But trouble is no one at home listens or even want to listen. 😢😢

[Gazza75]

Your welcome @BlueBay , happy to listen and try to help if I can.

The lack of quality sleep isn't going to be helping any, especially if its happening regularly and over a prolonged period.  I can't stay in bed for long either if I'm not sleeping.  Might as well get on with the day.

I really struggle with letting go of things to.  It's not easy to do with things that might 'haunt' us or have been life changing events.  I often think I have overcome it, but, then it comes back to Me and I turn it over and over in my head.  I really struggle with forgiving the sister in law and that its never going to be right again.  Yesterday I was left out of my nephews birthday celebrations.  All I could do was drop him a line on facebook and I never heard back from him. 

The only thing I can suggest is to try and stay busy with things you like to do.  

I'm not good with relationships or intimacy, can only say that your husband still cares about you.  Maybe you can ask him to hold off on it untill you initiate something.  It might be easier on him to.  

I think you do a lot of things right, even though it might feel otherwise some of the time.  You have a supportive and loving family and I really think you do an amazing job of making it work.  Despite everything that you have gone through you still make tough decisions for the good of your family.  I'm not sure many of us could do that.

I wish your family might listen and support you more than they do.

[BlueBay]

Hi all. @Gazza75 @MDT @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar @Maggie @Shaz51  and others 

just got bad news that my mother in law has had a mild stroke  and has only hours to live. Hubby myself snd our boys are going now to see her. I’m not coping. Hubby is ok at the moment

[Molliex]

Sending hugs @BlueBay. No words, just hugs. Here for you 🌻💕

[Shaz51]

sending you lots of hugs to you and your husband and family my @BlueBay 

[Shaz51]

ohh hugs my sister @BlueBay , you and your family are going through a very emotionaally time right now

in these times things are sometimes said that people do not mean my friend xxxx

soo please stay strong and i am with you xx