Lived Experience Forum

[Foreverbattle]

Today was a really tough day.....this week has been tough to be honest. But today I guess was the day it got to me most. 

It made me realize just how retraumatized going home was for me. One of the units of study i am doing is trauma informed care. Today was the first class. I ended up having to leave class during a group activity and tell the teacher to stop coz he kept asking question. And then I walked out coz I was gonna cry. I went to the toilet to wash my face and went back away from the group. The teacher spoke to me after class and had a bit of a cry again. I will decide if that unit is for me to do this semester or not after a little longer. 

I have been crying on and off all night, I havnt felt this way in such a long time, that I had forgotten how soul crushing and how much energy it takes to try talk myself out of my overreations and heightened senses.

I have work tomorrow and always a long list.of things I need to do.

I will try go to bed soon I need to try get a good sleep but it has been so hard to get. 

I have had no time to even really get back on here to now and I feel awful not reply to other in need and just thinking about my self defenitly creates guilt. So please forgive me for that 

[Ali11]

No apology needed @Foreverbattle, you can post or not post however often you like  Sounds like that unit has been a really confronting one for you, was the teacher supportive when you spoke after class? How are you feeling this weekend, have you taken some time for yourself? 

[Foreverbattle]

The lecture was kind and very trauma informed.
I did this unit last semester and it didn't effect me as much but that was before I went home and had the incident to show me who still has the power.

My weekend didn't really go as planned something was up with one of my cats, and was going to take him to the vet this morning but when I called it didn't seem urgent as he is mostly back to himself. I have an appointment at 9am before work Tuesday so will see what happens.

I have just put a face mask on and am gonna have a shower shortly. Then will try get organized for the week ahead!!

[Ali11]

We hope that your cat continues to improve @Foreverbattle, it's always a stressful experience when a beloved pet is unwell, isn't it? 

That sounds like a good way to wind down the weekend/start the week! 

[Ali11]

We hope that your cat continues to improve @Foreverbattle, it's always a stressful experience when a beloved pet is unwell, isn't it? 

That sounds like a good way to wind down the weekend/start the week! 

[Foreverbattle]

My cat is ok and back to his normal self and the vets couldn't find anything wrong so I am thankful for that.

It's becoming harder and harder to manage my everyday tasks, everything seems overwhelming and full on and I feel like I don't have time to do much. I also don't know what to do ........I am working and studying but I feel like I am not gonna be able to keep up. 

I don't know if I tell the course coordinator or just leave it be. I am studying mental health, and in class we need to remind professional but I don't know if it is something I would share with them. 

On Friday again I had to stay back to chat with the lecture because I dissociated just before class ended. 

I have a learning plan that say I may do that, this only got added this semester because it only happing again more since I got re traumatized.

I just don't know what to do in anything at the moment and everything seems to hard.

Yet...

I just keep doing it anyways