Lived Experience Forum

[Atalanta]

Saw my counsellor today. We talked about my feeling suicidal. I think I kind of freaked him out. He's text me tonight with the number of a couple of emergency groups...mental health access and lifeline. I said I would call them if needed but I don't intend to...I either make it or I don't. I will try to make it but I am not going to hospital. Anyway, got too many things to do this weekend.

Have a good weekend.

[utopia]

@Atalanta. What are your plans this weekend? I hope it's something fun.
Me. Just grocery shopping & cleaning. Not fun.

[Atalanta]

Hi, get over my chest cold, catch up on about four weeks of study, clean house, drive my nephew about to soccer games. Not anything interesting which is fine as my body and mind need a rest.

I calmed down by the end of session and I feel better now but my gosh, the crap that came out of my mouth. I told him I should play a game of Russian Roulette...I will bet on a soccer pools game tomorrow and Monday lunch time, if I win, I live and if I lose, I die. I meant it at the time but sanity seems to have prevailed and I am not thinking that way now. I'm some kind of crazy at times...luckily, it only lasts for short outbursts.

[utopia]

@Atalanta. Wondering if like me - when you get angry or frustrated -especially with idiotic comments from the 'experts' - do you find you just 'let rip' & it all just rushes out of your mouth?

[Atalanta]

I'm the opposite actually. I tend to turn the anger and frustration inwards and will sit silently or change the subject or talk shallow stuff. The rush of talk this time was more about feeling so exhausted, so burned out about holding everything together, that I didn't care what I said.

[utopia]

Feeling burnt out and exhausted over it all @Atalanta - would definitely lead to blurting it out. I guess I just get tired of some of their stupid questions. But then - I'm in a foul mood today. Sorry.
I hope your cold clears up this weekend and that your nephew has fun at soccer.

[Atalanta]

Sorry to hear you are in a foul mood...hope you feel better soon. Therapists can drive us crazy but mostly they are just human beings trying to figure out what is wrong and help...they are bound to make mistakes or not get us. Mind you, there's a lot of crappy ones out there too.

I'm heading off to sleep. Feel free to write, I will reply in the morning. Take care.

[utopia]

Thanks @Atalanta. Yes my psychologist is brilliant. A huge help.
The WorkCover Psychiatrists on the other hand. No need to say more.
I hope you get a great nights sleep and feel better tomorrow.

[Atalanta]

1.30am and still can't sleep.

Workcover doctors in general are vile creatures. Always say as little as possible to them cause they will use every word against you.

[Stroppy]

"Workcover doctors in general are vile creatures. Always say as little as possible to them cause they will use every word against you."

There'd be more than one person out there who would agree with you 100% !  I deal with them this way:

-Answer their questions as best you can.

-If they attempt to get your back up then ask for a time out (they have to allow that).

-Ask that a friend or relative be allowed to sit in on the assessment.  Some doctors will not allow this but some do.

-If they accuse you of something (like malingering) DON'T get your back up and get angry.  Just tell them that is not the case and that, perhaps, they should re-read your file.

Remember; if you get stuffed around in an "independent medical assessment" you have the right to appeal the decision.  You also have the right to complain about the doctor if you think he or she acted inapropriately or asked questions designed to get a negative reaction from you.

I've been to some assessments which were no different to seeing my own doctor...The assessor was calm, relaxed and asked pertinent questions.  I've been to some where the doctor machine guns questions and does not wait to hear your answers or cuts your answers short.  I've also gotten up and left an assessment when I felt the assessor was being callous or deliberately trying to hurt me.  Once I left the assessor's office I rang and complained to the insurer and my doctor (so that a record was made).  This ensures that you will probably be granted an assessment with another doctor.

Just remember...you are a good and decent person.  You have nothing to hide.  You are ill.  The illness may not be visible, like having acne, but you are ill nonetheless.