Lived Experience Forum

[Confused18]

Hi, 

I've felt lost this last week but today I'm feeling really overwhelmed.
I've never been diagnosed but I've always felt I've suffered from some level of anxiety, but today it's high (possibly depresssion too of late). My chest is tight and all I want to do is cry. The hard part is I'm not really sure why or what has set it off today.  
I currently have issues in my marriage (has been for some time) and I feel like I've been gaslighted. This has been a recent realization but it's hard to know if it's that or not, but I connect with most of what I've read about it and it explains some of the feelings I feel. 
I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone about it so I'm feeling quite alone at the moment. 
I feel I want to leave my marriage but at the same time I don't because we have a toddler and what if it's a mistake leaving and it could get better. I don't like being around my husband, I avoid spending time with husband where I can as it feels like a burden at times. It's a pretty miserable relationship, he's never liked talking about issues and recently even just having a conversation with things I'm interested in as he doesn't agree, which makes me have practically no one to talk to. I've changed a lot since becoming a mum and any common interests we had no longer exist, besides our kid.  
I also find myself "living" through shows or books I read and building emotional connections to the characters which I don't feel is healthy. I know they're staged but is it really to much to want something even close to that in a relationship? Is that even possible? 

I'm also quite isolated from my support group/family & a few friends due to distance. 
If anyone has any advice/support, really needed to get this off my chest which has helped a little.

Thanks 

[Former-Member]

Hello @Confused18 

sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed. Have you considered seeing your GP

it is a lot to manage all on your own.

Take care 🌷

[Judi9877]

Hi @Confused18 . Welcome to the forums☺️! Nice to meet you! I'm glad you have found a space where you can speak out. That is a great strategy when dealing with any issues. I'm a Community Guide here on the forums and I, like many others, have been through mental health issues and can offer support and guidance as well as advice. 

Like @Former-Member has mentioned, it would be a good idea to check in with your GP for any mental health concerns as they may be able to help you with your specific issues. You can also call on the SANE helplines which have details of people you could call and ask them for assistance as well. Possibly calling your local hospital might also be another option as they may have someone there who could help you, such as someone involved in mental health services. These are just my suggestions. I hope they help! 

In the meantime, please have a look around the forums as you may find people to connect with. A good starting place would be the Good Morning thread where people pop into say hello each day. Also, depending on what you are into, there are discussion groups on sports such as All Things Sport... , craft groups such as Re: Craft Corner.  

and social threads on Saturday such as Saturday Soiree - all welcome!! , Sunday Funday and The Weekly Friday Feast which happens on a Friday and are places where members catch up throughout the day. Use the @ function to tag people using their user name like I have done here. I'm tagging other members @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @greenpea who might be able to help here so keep an eye out for them.

Take care and see you around the forums! Stay safe!

Judi9877☺️🌻

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Judi9877

Welcome to the forum, though its often when we feel sad or stressed. We try and make the most of things.

Having a toddler is a busy time and watching something for an escape  is pretty common. However it does not sound like you want to escape, but want to work on things.  People do change with parenting as its such a demanding time to get established. Though there are often core things that usually stay the same. 

Gaslighting is written about a lot on the net.  It can be real and we can also be influenced by what we read.  I watched the movie after I left my marriage of 16 years as I wanted to understand the concept and my exhusband did gaslight me, and told me about it too. 

Looking after your little one and yourself are the top priorities and being available for relationship in a marriage is important.  I took marriage vows very seriously, but if all they want is you know what, and there is no other human touch, it gets hard, and it takes 2 to tango.

I was very shy at first, but eventually it can be worth it to talk to someone.

Apple

[greenpea]

Hey @Confused18  and tyvm @Judi9877  for the tag. Just wanted to drop by and welcome you. Take care. Love greenpeaxx