Lived Experience Forum

[Appleblossom]

Done now @ArraDreaming 

Let it go.

Each time I read my file or the files of the other family members, I see different things and have different insights.  I do not want to throw that stuff out, just file it away in the back of the cupboard.  Its there if kids need it. Its part of their history too.  Anyway thats the way I look at it. It really took me quite a few reads over quite a few years (first looked at file almost 30 years ago, but did not get a copy, the copy I have is only half as thick, redacted etc, but some of the info in siblings and father's files interrelate.)

I really like that saying @FloatingFeather used ... as we know better we do better.  Work with what is needed today.  Yep the past keeps looping back into our consciousness, but eyes forward ....take next step.  The benefit of hindsight, is just that.

[ArraDreaming]

I could have read for hours @Appleblossom but both the boys home today. Might pick it all back up later tonight. 

[Appleblossom]

@ArraDreaming 

What I have figured out is that is there is no NORMAL for the kind of experiences we have in "out of home care".  Your experience and your needs and your way of dealing with it all, will be unique.  No one right way. 

Recently I put together a set of photos to tell my father's story in a way I never had before. He had been dreadfully pathologised, but he was also brave, intelligent and a hard worker. Now when something from the past comes out of me, it is more filled out and more respectful of the full experiences.  Then I may not think about it or talk about it for a while, and be more present and able to socialise.

[ArraDreaming]

Thanks @Appleblossom it definitely is good to connect with someone who’s been there to. some of this info is helpful because I don’t remember a lot, trauma response hey!? To block it all out. There are things I completely forgot even happened until this has kind of triggered a memory in me 

[Appleblossom]

I needed to learn to play @ArraDreaming Kids are great at teaching that.

I forgot a lot of details too, but now have a few anchors, that help me navigate life better.  Silly things like seeing the shopping centre my foster mother went to .. in the news ... 

[ArraDreaming]

Me too @Appleblossom I never played but now I get to do it all as adult and that’s pretty special…

My 4 year old is teaching me to play every day, no objective, just play. Half the time I have no idea what’s he’s talking about but I just do what he tells me haha

[tyme]

What an incredible bond @ArraDreaming . Happy NAIDOC week 🙂

 Hi @Appleblossom !

[ArraDreaming]

@tymei am very fortunate, although most of the time the games make no sense and I get told off that I am not doing what he asked me, today he wanted to play Bluey but I had to play it in Chinese, I told him I don’t speak Chinese and he told me to go to bed for some quiet time mr grumpy. So, that’s what I mean by play in this house haha 

[tyme]

This makes fatherhood all the more special @ArraDreaming ! That's so precious - playing Bluey in Chinese lol. That's just too funny. I'm sitting here laughing my head off. 

As adults, we just go with these games. And what they say is priceless.

I was playing with my nephew the other day, and I had to give him some eye drops. He frowned at me and said, "I didn't come here for eye drops! I came here to play!" - what could I say? I just laughed. EVENTUALLY.... i got the eye drops in.

[ArraDreaming]

kids hey @tyme the baby was crying today and he said “that’s your job ok?? not mine my job is going to kinder” I never once said it was his job, I was like woah calm down mate, did I just get told off by a 4 year old?