Something’s not right
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28-09-2017 06:48 PM
28-09-2017 06:48 PM
Struggling at the moment
Hi
My wife was sexually abused by her grandfather, her dad was generally uncaring and she is estranged from her mother who has a serious mental illness. Since our child was born, four years ago, my wife has become more and more verbally abusive towards me. I rarely know when it's going to come. Seemingly unrelated discussions end up as attacks on me quite often. My wife refuses to awknowledge her behaviour and refuses to see a cousellor etc. She now won't allow any discussion about her attacks. Her general behaviour is becoming more erratic. She has read my online messages and says I betrayed her by giving a very watered down version of what's happening to my sister. I see a counsellor, and they have advised me that I'm in an abusive and manipulative relationship and that I should leave. I don't think I can leave because I need to be with and protect our child. I still love my wife, but all the really nasty and mean things she says are hurting me terribly. I'm a good husband and father.
I recently found out I'm losing my job of three years after I was informally told my employment would continue indefinitely.
So, feeling pretty low and really don't know what to do about my wife. I know I have to go on for my child, but not really seeing the light at the end of the tunnel right now.
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29-09-2017 02:13 PM
29-09-2017 02:13 PM
Re: Struggling at the moment
Hi @spelled3,
This sounds like a very difficult situation - I am really glad you have come to the forums.
Our members have so many shared experiences and are always full of support. It can be so hard to help a loved one that doesn't want the help. I'm sorry you are feeling low at the moment.
You may like to look and post in this thread- How to encourage spouse to get help, we also hosted a very interesting Topic Tuesday around supporting the women in your life.
I hope this helps!
Lauz
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30-09-2017 05:35 PM
30-09-2017 05:35 PM
Re: Struggling at the moment
You have so much going on - maybe tackle one thing at a time - your job is really important so make sure you look after yourself enough and focus on your next career steps and secure another role - it's really hard to do anything else if you lose employment altogether ... you must stay strong for your own survival and for your child. Take a day at a time and make sure you take moments for yourself to recharge ... as you think through your options maybe you will find a way to connect to your wife and edge her towards seeking help of some kind - really thinking of you and sending you the best vibes in the world ! .. stay hopeful and keep reaching out x
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01-10-2017 01:57 PM
01-10-2017 01:57 PM
Re: Struggling at the moment
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01-10-2017 01:58 PM
01-10-2017 01:58 PM