@eth wrote:
@Former-Member I get concerned about you when I read posts like yours above. And that's because I care deeply about you. And as I've told you before, you are very much appreciated by everyone who knows you here on the forums. Personally I think you'd make a terrific community guide. No matter what's going on for you, you always have support and compassion for others, and you show it well. For me, it gives me a great sense of worth and self-esteem, and it could be like that for you too. Just sayin'...
Hugs to all here xoxo
@eth ... thank you for your post to me back on 14th May. I am sorry to have concerned you, it was not intended. But it was definitely how I felt at the time.
Thanks for saying you and others appreciate me. 😊 And thanks also for saying you think I would make a terrific Community guide. Actually I think I would too. 🌺 But when I say I'm not wanted, thats true. I tend to be too honest, too spontaneous, sometimes too graphic and thus I get too many rule breaches. 😈 Since I doubt that will ever change, it means I will never be eligible to be a Guide here ... whether I want to or not. 😞 Too much of a rebel, too much of a free spirit, which is kinda frowned upon.
What you say is very true however. When I was a Community Guide volunteer (equivalent) elsewhere for 5 or 6 months, I loved it. Like you, it gave me a sense of worth and increased my self-esteem. It also gave me a purpose in life, something I have severely lacked in my life since I left work in order to care full time for my seriously ill husband 3 years ago. The role of listening to and supporting others, tended to push my own problems off the front page. I found that my confidence increased, and I really thrived on tackling the responsibilities the role entailed. Surprisingly when I had the responsibility of a formal role, I also was a very good girl and never put a foot wrong. 😇 No, dont laugh ... its true. Yes I do have a lot of compassion and a genuine care and concern for others, and I think I usually read others pretty well too. No @Jupiter ... this is not a late application. 😎
Sadly, I was forced to resign my role when my husband became critically ill, was transferred to a city hospital and was not expected to live. Which was a disappointment, but the right thing to do at the time. Interestingly I had been having some issues with the behind the scenes management of those forums. The back room private forum was a ticking time bomb there at the time. Some of the other volunteers would say some horrible things about ordinary members on the private Guide forums. They were critical, highly judgemental, and downright nasty behind the scenes. Then they would go on the public forums and be all sweet and sugar-and-spice nice. The dreadful hypocrisy disgusted and insensed me, and I brought it up with the manager at the time. That was not taken kindly, as the main culprit was the golden boy of the time, as far as the manager was concerned. So I was forced to bite my tongue, which kinda hurt, because I am not backwards in coming forward when I see wrongdoing or unfairness. I was made to pay for my outspokenness.
And in the end that, along with my unavailability due to a critically ill husband at the time .. I decided I couldnt cope with it any more. So I resigned. Soon after that .. well, lets just say that the wolves were let loose and they got their target (me). I will say that the manager and his golden boy have both since (been) moved on 🙏 and I hope things have improved as a result. I guess you could say that I had a hand in forcing some big improvements though. 👍
I am certainly not saying that these forums are the same, which I am certain they are not. And certainly this group of guides seem a very close group, which helps so much. I note also that Sane actually train their new guides, which is fantastic. Where I was, never did that, which was a shame. Just an annual conference, which all Guides were invited to. I never got to go as I had just started at the time. Though I would not have been able to go anyway, as it was interstate and I had carer duties which was a priority rather than a big love-in. Yeah okay ... so call me a cynic. 😉
Anyway @eth ...just thought I'd explain my thinking at the time I wrote that post. I'm sorry if it came across as ungrateful. I have nothing but admiration for all of you Guides. But sadly, I will never be permitted to be one of you. Just sayin' ... 😉💕
Sherry 💕🤗🌺
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