Our stories
- Mark Discussion as New
- Mark Discussion as Read
- Float this Discussion for Current User
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Printer Friendly Page
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
17-08-2019 04:29 PM
17-08-2019 04:29 PM
Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness
Hi @Smc @greenpea @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Georgie_Girl + everyone
Yep... agree with everything SMC has said there. especially the 'it hurts' part .
I have often been accused as the source of Darlings problems (Even DV by one `helpful` ED staff member). Often in the medical field concern is confused with control.
Both Darling and I have been told by different mental health 'professionals' that we are the source of each others problems and should leave. The first clown I went to see even suggested he could no longer see me if I did not follow this advice, needless to say I never went back and didn't see anyone again until after a complete burnout.
Thankfully I have not had the in-law issues some of us here have spoken of. in fact I don't know how I could have survived without the support of darlings parents. Kind of why living under the same roof now works so well and the only reason I considered it.
Darling unfortunately has clashed with my family but that is more to do with managing unique personalities than family being negative towards her. My family all lover her dearly. Reading everyones experience here I am so thankful for the relationship I have with my inlaws and miss MIL so much
I have for some time now had concerns around perceptions with our children (S2 in particular) given their environment and how unwell darling has been. Have been assured though by more than one councillor of my own and a councillor that S2 sees that they don't see it as an issue. not ideal environment but sufficient insight and support in place to alleviate such concerns.
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
17-08-2019 04:39 PM
17-08-2019 04:39 PM
Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness
@Determined, quite frankly, our loved ones MI do impact our own mental health. I probably wouldn't be dealing with depression etc. and Hubby with anxiety etc. if it wasn't for Older Daughter's issues... but seriously, how would walking out on them or otherwise cutting ties improve things?
I know that for as long as the current circumstances continue, I'm unlikely to be able to kick the depression. So that's something I have to live with. Glad to say that the psych we see is much more supportive than your initial one. And I think you made the right choice not going back to him... maybe not so in holding out until you burnt out, but I think you know that now. 🙂
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
17-08-2019 05:05 PM
17-08-2019 05:05 PM
Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness
@Smc that has always been me argument.
I agree as long as we are together I will always have anxiety and depression to some degree, but that is for me to manage, not blame darling and leave her to fend for herself. If I go where does that leave her and post children. what about them. For me a big part is that I made a commitment 'for better or worse' but even without that it is not in my personality to ditch someone in their time of need, that would create emotional issues all by itself (for me and my personality at least).
My main beef and most of us here can most likley relate to this, has always been I need support and direction, not someone to blame. support and direction needs to be ongoing not something that can be achieved in 6 visits. Sometimes that may be to simply download, other times that may be 'this is what you need to do', or confirm a plan or even be told, no maybe this may be better. This may not work for everyone and it may change for me some time in the future but it is what I need now but is so hard to achieve. And something that is hard wiht friends or family who are most often not equipped to deal with this.
This space (sane forums) has been invaluable but even here I don't like to over share on deeper issues as everyone has thier burdens. being able to acknowledge emotions though with people who understand is of great benefit. I have never had that before arriving here and appreciate all the friends I have made here very much.
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
19-08-2019 05:54 PM
19-08-2019 05:54 PM
Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness
mr shaz just announced that he did not take his morning meds , feeling way anxious @Determined , @Smc , @greenpea , @Faith-and-Hope , @Georgie_Girl , @Former-Member , @Owlunar
told him to take it now
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
19-08-2019 06:02 PM
19-08-2019 06:02 PM
Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness
Oh I totally understand @Shaz51
My hubby works 3 nights a week, and is meant to take his meds at night. When he’s on shift, he takes them before bed in the morning- so essentially misses one dose per week. It always makes one day of the week a bit tense to say the least
😩
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
19-08-2019 06:06 PM
19-08-2019 06:06 PM
Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness
very true my @Georgie_Girl , sending you knowing hugs
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
19-08-2019 06:10 PM
19-08-2019 06:10 PM
Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness
Mr D's meds have a little flexibility, but some he cannot take later if they are missed @Shaz51
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
19-08-2019 06:13 PM
19-08-2019 06:13 PM
Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness
@Former-Member @Shaz51 @Georgie_Girl @Determined @Smc son2 always takes his meds god bless him. Like a goanna he gulps them down all in the one hit vitamins and assorted meds. lol
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
19-08-2019 06:14 PM
19-08-2019 06:14 PM
Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness
same here @Former-Member , @Georgie_Girl but mr shaz is going to take the 3 of them tonight xx
- Mark as New
- Favourite
- Subscribe
- Get link
- Flag for Moderator
19-08-2019 06:38 PM
19-08-2019 06:38 PM
Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness
Mr Darcy is pretty good and will take as prescribed but occasionally forgets @greenpea