Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[JamesBluntus]

Hey @Former-Member, thank you for asking.

She's not doing too good, and I'm not doing too good either. We've had an argument where she basically said I don't give a shit about her stress levels and anxiety, and don't give a shit about her, and she won't talk to me. So not much I can do but give her time.

[Former-Member]

Hey @JamesBluntus
Supporting someone through dark times is not easy. Most important to ensure you have supports in place for yourself. Take care.

[Former-Member]

Hello @JamesBluntus

I would like the opportunity to respond to this question again

yes I agree with all of the above responses  from my carer role point of view

i would also like to respond from long term depression struggler point of view

one of the difficulties that arises when living with depression is complete lack of energy not only physically, mentally as well. We find it extremely difficult to express how we are feeling and we already know in advance that most people don't get it

you mention that you are not talking to one another common scenario re lack of communication. Of course both have to work hard at this ongoing. Mental illness or not.

what helped my husband was to have a joint session with my psychiatrist and ask questions . He basically said that he didn't get it spoke about general symptoms, how he felt . He still said at end did not get it but understood a little more

so basically ongoing learning, communicating for both of you  any relationship is about this, with mental illness involved adapting is the key for both of you. Can too much support encourage depression. No it can cause an imbalance in any relationship though . You do not have to tread on eggshells with depression. Treat her as the person you love not as the depression. Don't be frightened of the depression. Treat her with respect. Treat her no differently. Ask her how she is and go from there. She might just want you to hear that she had a bad day . Don't try to advise or fix her, just hold her and let her be however she needs. She will love you holding her, telling her that she is loved and safe.

time out for you vital. My husband has sports

it is not easy but if you are very honest with each other and the love is strong both ways well then is it worth it? I think so. Life is a challenge 

just a different perspective for you to think about

[MissB]

My question too weeding out when to assist when to stand back.