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Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Hi @Former-Member

 

I had to go to bed last night too - and for whatever reason I had a screen freeze and had to leave my computer to give it a rest too - maybe I should start clearing some of the clipart I have collected

 

I  miss our chats too - but I understand where your life is right now and how much confusion is happening and this has to be exhausting. You so need someone on your side right now - I guess I can be that person on line for the time being - been there - done that - I have 2 siblings who are really painful to know - not 5 - but yeah - no one wins with family conflict - all we can do is keep our own serenity 

 

Personally - I have recently wondered how I reached my later years and still seem to be mentally intact when my family is disfunctional - Dad was okay but had to compromise himself to live with my mother - her problem was co-dependency and through her long life took that dependency from one person to the next to the next and this is not a fruitful way of living - and both my siblings are really wonky beings too - our sisters are emotionally transferable - oh - what a pain - who needs control freaks?

 

If course I can't tell the future but I do know that My Aged Care is in the business of keeping people in their own homes as long as the PERSON wants to be there and in this case you are willing to be his carer - and he has to be happier in the early stages of his dementia - what should someone go into care because one person has a need to have things their way - oh sheesh - I do know about a control freak - 

 

Difficult I know - but this is a day-by-day sitting it out and waiting while you do your best with those meddling sibs - and boy - I do know most of your brothers have health issues and a couple of them have MI but I can suggest that your mother was enabling some of their behaviour and you are not going to and this can cause trouble but you go girl - I know about tough love and these guys need a little of that

 

I guess if the conflict becomes too much you still have your own home to return to - you are living day-by-day anyway - I know you are there for your Dad and this is your main reason

 

Gotta go for a while now - I will be back - my case worker is coming today and I bet she will be on the My Aged Care thing and I need to find the parts of my paper work out and get her off my back - enough of that - I am totally over My Aged Care - 

 

You are okay Lapses - it is possible to be the only sane person in a dysfunctional family and another point - for whatever reason your marriage failed and your daughter's death has been a terrible thing and it will take time - and I understand - it can take years and grief and sorrow that is not mental illness

 

Back later --yeah - spraining my ankle was something I didn't need but happened anyway. I can't really remember what happened - I woke up with my bladder ready to burst and told myself I would get up in a minute but I think I went back to sleep cause the next thing I was on the floor with my foot screaming at me and my bladder still bursting. I considered using my Mepacs alarm but I felt I couldn't wait for that with my bladder bursting - let's have our priorities and once I got to my feet I was able to weight bear on that foot and walk hoppity hop to the small room and the worst problem was relieved and I had to start the first aid - all of which was easy except for the rest part

 

Male doctors do not seem to understand that a person on their own needs to get up and down a hundred times a day for simple requirements - like preparing food, answering the door, watering the vegie patch, feeding the cat, washing the dishes, tidying up the clutter around the resting place etc etc etc

 

I wonder if I can find a clipart to cover this rather funny experience - I don't need to actually - I can really see the funny side of sitting on the floor with such a decision and glad I did not need an ambulance - but so glad I have the alarm 

 

Catchyalata Lapses - I have to go now but I hope to get back soon

 

Dec

Former-Member
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Re: Depression Dementia Dad

((((((((@Dec❤))))))))
Former-Member
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Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Dad introduced me as "my eldest daughter" with the cardiologist yesterday. This was really nice. Usually at home he calls me mum's name (she not long died), so its quite a win when he gets it right / acknowledges the 'me' in his world. Just had to tell someone.
Former-Member
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Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Former-Member

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Former-Member
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Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Centrelink require ID documents to prove dad exists, before giving carer's allowance. Of cause dad has no idea where his birth certificate or 65yo passport is. Fancy being alive 83yrs and having to prove you exist 😕,  even though he's a war vet, gold card & all... Grr! Actually, just remembered my sis was frantic trying to of and dad's birth certificate the day after mum died & couldn't, I guess. Said she's doing ancestry, but now I wonder.

I've spent 3hrs online tonight setting up myGov, changing passwords... (😟writing as I go cause 'how the hell' am I supose to remember all this 'critically important :pile_of_poo: crap! 😠  x2 foolscap pages so far...  read read read 😕... & linking Centrelink to try upload documents... & getting timed out, & system freeze... then take a break... then, THEN get totally shut out with a screen 'apology' "unable to process... at this time...GRR 😬 help, think I'm gonna blow a poofoo valvue, literally have to stop & take deep breaths to stop bursting into tears 😭 or a have a full blown 😨 😰😤😦😱😨😧... panic attack or lash out😤... help🙇 frightens me😷... Well, best nod off for the night now... 🙇I can do this...

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Hugs @Former-Member HeartHeart

Former-Member
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Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Oh my goodness, it's so sweet, 0515 Dada lifht was on and here he is sittingbup on edge of bed, bright as a button, fully dressed for he's big Veteran's Day 😮 But its still dark, I said, he looks at his watch & explains how they're picking him up in an hour... (0730 actually...). Clearly he's excited - I'm happy for him. Asked if he wanted a cup of tea, he lit up more & said "yeah, and something to eat please, smile 😀"  He's funny!☺ Made him tea & toast... Made me smile...

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

That’s lovely @Former-Member ......

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Does your Dad’s Veteran card suffice for C’link @Former-Member ? Medicare card ? Build up a profile for him .... household bills etc ?
Former-Member
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Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@Former-Member
Just a thought, can you apply for carers allowance through DVA? Seem to recall someone saying something about this once.
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