Topic Tuesday // Creating and maintaining social connections // Tues 20 Nov, 7pm AEDT

[jess_27]

@Teej I have many friendships that I also float in and out of. I don't think this is something unique to those of us who experience mental illness but also just part of life. Try not to beat yourself up. 🙂 

Yes, it seems online friendships where the demands are less strenuous and expectations are more clear are easier. Is there away we can make our regular friendships more like our online friendships?

[BlueBay]

I feel thst online friends like here in sane is easier than having friends in real life. Because I csn be just myself. I’ve hsd a friend who told me to stop telling her my issues. She didn’t want to hear it. 

@jess_27

[jess_27]

Your psychologist is right, I do not recommend manic episodes. haha 

You sound much like my partner. They get quite fatigued by social engagements. I know something they do is really prioritise their time and who they think is worth the crash, if that makes sense @Adge?

[Zoe7]

I have grown to trust many people on the forum but still find that difficult IRL @jess_27 - maybe that is because of past let downs or hurt but also I think a lot of that is the misunderstanding about MI and the effects it does have on relationships

[greenpea]

@jess_27@Teej My mother has many friends and they are very demanding on her, same as my sister ... it is very hard when you get overloaded with stimuli to cope with. I think you could have acquaintences .... but it would be a difficult balancing act with some people who just don't get it.

[jess_27]

@BlueBay What I would say to that is that how that person reacted isn't an indiicator of all friendships. That person just sounds like a bad friend. 

I have had many people leave my life due to my mental illness. and to them I say good riddance. For me, if you can't cope with my mental illness, I don't want you in my life. Bit harsh, but true. haha 

[Adge]

I don't have any regular friendships @jess_27

I have maintained several contacts for 20 years - but they all live far away, contact is only via telephone (usually).

Yet online friendships don't feel real to me, I need face-to-face (like I always had & valued in the past).

Adge

[jess_27]

Funny we got on to the topic of friends because my next question is to do with friends! 

I make it part of my self-care routine to see friends at least once a week. When I can’t deal with social situations, I sometimes get a friend to accompany me to things like doctors appointments as a baby step.

What strategies do you put in place to manage your self-care surrounding relationships?

[greenpea]

@Zoe7@jess_27 I agree with Zoe7 we are a very forgiving bunch here on the forums and we genuinely care about each other. We just get each other's problems and never let each other down.

[jess_27]

And that's so lovely that you have built those relationships. Don't udnerestimate the beauty in them and treasure them. 

You are right, it is so much easier to be friends with people who 'get' mental illness. My friendships with fellow travellers are very meaningful to me, even if they are a little unstable.