Lived Experience Forum

[Tashie81]

Hi everyone,

feeling super grateful that I have found a safe place to talk to people who might just get me with no judgment. I am a 40yr old mother of 3, I have had addiction problems on and off for half my life, 3.5 years ago my husband of 10ths committed suicide and I went on a downward spiral which landed me in psychosis with a 2mth psych ward stay (I believe from my drug use) the treating team gave me a diagnosis of bipolar which led to 2021 being a year of ordered monthly injections and psych medications, I felt like a zombie and put on 10kgs, October I decided with my treating teams disapproval but acceptance that I cease meds and from November to start of may life was good. I thought it was over, start of may I had some relationship issues and ended up taking some pills (thankfully I am still here)which led me back to the psych ward, only for a couple of days though. Since then I have noticed my moods have been quite up and down but mostly bearable. My only problem is I go through the hard times by myself in my head, I don’t want to burden people close to me or bring them down with my negative thinking and I don’t trust a lot of people in fear of judgment. Hoping and praying that I may just have found my safe supportive space 🙏😘

[StuF]

Hi @Tashie81 

Welcome.

I've not a lot to say, but can totally empathise with the dealing with the hard times in your head. This is a good place for sharing what you might not otherwise do, while connecting with a community that understands and supports.

I hope you have found your space too

[Tashie81]

Thankyou 😊

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Tashie81,

Welcome to the forums. I am FloatingFeather, one of the peer support workers at SANE. I just want to say how brave it is of you to reach out and share your experiences and your truth with us. I know that can be a very vulnerable experience and can take a lot of courage. Please know that you have found a safe and non-judgemental space. 

I'm so sorry to read about your husband's passing. That must of been a devastating and traumatic experience for you. I really hope you have some much needed support from family/friends and that with time you have begun the healing process. 

I have a close family member who was diagnosed with bipolar 1 many years ago so whilst I don't know it from a lived experience I really do understand it from a support person's perspective. Do you still have regular check-ins with your professional team? I just know from my family member's perspective the importance of being monitored and having a professional oversee your mental health so you can work together on your mental health plan. 

I know that my family member also keeps a lot of his thoughts and feelings to himself so he doesn't burden others but I do wish he would share more because I don't like to think that he is alone with his thoughts. I may not be able to help too much but I can listen and I think that can only ever be a good thing (to have someone to share with without judgement).

Just letting you know that the SANE Support Centre is available to support you from 10am-10pm Monday to Friday if you are interested. We have counsellors and peer support workers available to support you via phone (1800 18 7263) - https://www.sane.org/get-support/drop-in-service so please reach out if you would like more one on one support in addition to the support from our wonderful forum members.

Best wishes and take care,

FloatingFeather 

[Historylover]

Hello @Tashie81. I don't have any pearls of wisdom either, unfortunately. You've been through some really tough times as many of us here also have. My only advice, if it is worth anything to you, is just to put one foot in front of the other and don't try to scale mountains. Just go slowly and be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to work through all of that emotion and pain. It's an unavoidable part of the healing process, and I'd say don't start anything new. Just take the time to reassess and adjust. 

I can only send you my best wishes for better days ahead.

[Tashie81]

Thankyou very much currently in the process of finding a new psychologist after mine retired last month and a psychiatrist to reassess me as when I went to see my gp last mth he prescribed me an antidepressant that can set of a manic episode if you do have bipolar, lucky I love to read side effects of medications(lol). I’m not having much luck finding new professionals as a lot aren’t taking on new clients. The psych ward team recommended mind may help and I feel I can be totally honest due to being anonymous. Thanks again 😊

[Tashie81]

Thank you, very much appreciated 😊