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Something’s not right

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member  I’ve just read your post. I’m really sorry you have stuff from the past dragging you and your son down. It all sounds really really hard.

 

I understand too well the tec problems. It’s not our world, it doesn’t come naturally.

 

I hope today is just a little brighter. Take care where you can. 💙💙💙

 

 

 

 

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Maggie, @Otter, @Zoe7 ... and all support buttons. Hope you guys are ok, PLEASE TAG ME IN where you write your updates occasionally, I forget. But don't wanna be a bother or confront the trouble makers.
Having the estranged inlaws back in my son's life comes with mixed feelings. Guess I thought he needed me but he's probably better off with them than me and my mentally ill family in constant conflict. Should have died years ago. Its like I'm just waiting to die now. Horrible. Gotta seek God, find a way just to LIVE-4-ME+GOD (who keeps my heart beating for reasons I don't understand).
I wanted to ask my son to help with some ceiling light bulbs and setting up security on my laptop, but in the past he's said he feels used... :face_with_rolling_eyes: He has worked so hard at trying to impress his older half-siblings helping them with his dad this month. Just want our time conflict free. Most mum's 'get' this. We can't buy love. I'm trying to keep Suicide option off the table a while longer, settle in more, and while im not a major burden to anyone. But I might need to hook in with some home services at some point.
Wish I could lose weight, and erase the scars and all the wrongs. Only God can do this. Hate faithphobic persecution, thinking of God and the love of Christ for me brings hope from the inside out, doesn't crush me like all the haters in my life Andrew he depressing news. More focus on a loving God, and heaven and prayer today, and I just might make it to the shower and take a walk with furbaby. Sunny here.
Healing tears 💧

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member  If you can get home help services, it certainly does help. Easier said that done though. 

 

Families and conflict are tricky. I hope you have some good times with your son.

 

Things are sounding really tough for you. Settling into a new place takes time and energy. 

 

Your faith will be a strenth, something I’m trying to find my way back to. All tricky with past and rejection, but slowly getting there.

 

I hope you manage a shower today, maybe a walk with baby, sometimes, one can lead to the other. Whatever you do manage is all you can do, and enough.

Take care. 💕💕

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: why can't I cope longer?

😢 my dad was sent to hospital last night, with a temp 39.7 after having cough few days 😟 He's an unwell 86 with dementia. And alone re COVID lockdown & hotspots in Sydney. Its not the way to die. Poor dad, I wanna sit with him... Even if I could go, I'm still shell-shot by the family conflict there (don't wanna see any of them)... Sounds cold, yet crying as I say - I've said my goodbyes. Hope I can hold it together. I'm sure my sis will love taking over,

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Oh @Former-Member I'm so sorry for you (sad) - yes your poor Dad.

I'm thinking of you.

Hugs ((((EOR))))

Sorry I've not been with it.

My 5th Surgery is next Wednesday 5th of August.

I'm anxious & stressing about it.

I have no idea what recovery time.

If things go well, with no complications - I shall be home that same day (1st time that's ever happened).

There have always been complications.

The shortest time I've ever spent in hospital (after surgery) - was 10 days (16 days the longest).

Adge

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Thanks @Maggie, and @Adge, had a cry for dad today, and the Clayton's family who I'm not good enough for. I should be there. Sometimes ya just have to to face it in small doses, to ease the pressure cooker syndrome. Don't wanna talk to any family irl Rang hospital, dad's on IV AB's and oxygen 😞 Speech therapist finally reviewing his swallowing, clearly looking Ng for aspiration pneumonia. I'm glad he's out of the nursing home, a least he can have visitors now, and I'm glad I say 3 have visited. They fussed over mm in the hospital too, by Mr at home (weird bunch).
Adge, I have a good feeling about your surgery this time. Stay positive 💙

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Hugs and love from me my @Former-Member  xoxo 

Re: why can't I cope longer?

Oh @Former-Member I'm so sorry, that is tough & very sad.

IV drip & oxygen & AB's for your Dad - oh...

I know well what that's like (not nice) - I've had IV drips & oxygen (for weeks) in hospital.

& your not being able to visit him...

Thanks for having good feelings about my Surgery next Wednesday.

I need those Good feelings - my feelings are scared/ anxious & not good.

Smiley HappyAdge

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: why can't I cope longer?

You'll be ok @Adge, hi @Shaz51 - sorry to read you're unwell today. Hope tomorrow's better 💙
I had a good cry today. Sorted Delivery of flowers now dad's out of emergency 💙
Went to Bunnings, grabbed some pots, potting mix and 3x1m cyclone fencing wire to close off back door area, west side of my duplex from neighbour and street access. Keeps dog in too, she would go poop under his clothesline every morning :face_with_rolling_eyes:😏. Wish I could post pics, got a really nice big blue ceramic pot with estsblished hot pink geranium $30 on Gumtree 😁👍 Having glass of wine tonight, or two, relaxed my muscles, feels good. Watching "under the Tuscan Sun" Ch-7 - feel good movie.
Night 💙

Re: why can't I cope longer?

@Former-Member  I hope your glass of wine , and feel good movie, is a bit of a break from the worries of your dad. Hospital is the best place sometimes.

 

Your gumtree find sounds lovely.👍👍 Good luck with the cyclone fencing. 🐶🐶

Take care.💕💕

 

@Adge  Thinking of you, hoping for the best this time. 💕💕

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