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Something’s not right

Serenity1
Senior Contributor

difficult mother

The mother who is not very nice to my daughter & i -& her daughter is not nice to my daughter-

has been at it again- every time I give her the benefit of the doubt & hope things will get better & improve- another thing just keeps happening to cause upset for my daughter & I. 

-we had an ongoing play date arrangement for our girls which was every Tuesday they play together-

this mum picked the day!!-- now for the last two weeks she has had another girl on Teus & I have a feeling it is now an ongoing thing that she will have this girl teus now- 

last week she said she had another girl- we could still join them which I agreed to & then cancelled because I knew my child would be upset if another girl was there on her special day- especially since they are not at same school now so hardly see each other-

i asked to catch up this teus & she said she "had plans"- her daughter later informed me it was with the same girl- so it appears my child's special play date day has been replaced with another girl, which is so upsetting for my daughter & I-

We had an ongoing arrangement & now another child has taken my child's place- she could have choosen any other day of the week- my child has just been cast aside & replaced- it just goes to show how much value my child is to her. 

Yesterday she asked my child to play with her child while she spent the entire day at the community garden- so they were effectively not being supervised-AT ALL- I felt so uncomfortable about leaving my child there- I kept saying I can take them somewhere & watch them- nope they wanted to stay-

she sent me a message about going to the tip- I sent her a message saying "please keep an eye on my daughter as she is unpredictable "--- I get no reply in return- this woman keeps proving to me time& time again that I am of no value to her & my child is of no value to her-tips are dangerous & if a parent sends a txt saying that- you reassure them that your child will be well looked after- but no I get nothing-& this is a regular occurrence- not replying to my txts - not a one off- just like me buying food for her kid & her not buying food for my kid , not giving money for her kid, or thanking me when I buy food for her kid-it  is a regular occurrence- not a one of- it's the norm

- oh & the gran was really rude to my daughter- the two girls were spinning round on their stomachs on play equipment at park & accidentally kicking up wood chips next to a small girl that was standing close to the equipment I told both the girls to be careful- but they were having fun & not paying attention & kept the wood chips flying- well I said "Cody be careful!"-& the gran immediately said- very loud & angrily "SHE DID THAT ON PURPOSE!!!"- meaning MY daughter!!--when the two girls completely ignored me & keep running round in circles & the wood ups kept flying- I DID NOT appreciate that!!- there is no way my child did that on purpose- in fact I believe they both did not even realise it was happening as they were laying on there tummies & not looking behind them- so they were not even aware wood chips were flying or a small girl was standing close by-( her mother was with her & was unbothered by it all)-

but how rude to say my child did that on purpose- but her grandchild didn't do it on purpose- that has REALLY shown me exactly how  she feels about my child-& it's just completely absurd because as I said neither girl was aware of what they were doing-they could not see & were not listening because they were having to much fun!!

i didn't respond because I was in shock & hate confrontation- but that is so rude- think I am done with this rude & uncaring family for good!

8 REPLIES 8

Re: difficult mother

Hugs @Serenity1. It can be so tricky to work through the dynamics of kids friendships as well as all of the relationships between parent groups and kids.

I think I'd like reassurance that my child would be looked after and watched closely in that situation (with the tip) too.

Sounds like you did well to not get involved in confrontation with the wood chip incident. I think you're right in that kids so often get caught up in playing that they don't really notice what's going on around them.

I hope you and your little one can find some friendships that bring good to your lives soon. You both deserve that.
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: difficult mother

Oh I hear you there @Serenity1

 

I use to have a friend that I would babysit for regularly and I would buy food and treats for them. The only trouble was I have one child and at the time she had three. Every time we were out she was broke and she never paid me back for any of it. I even got most of her kids Christmas presents one year and she didn't get my child anything and I always got birthday present for her kids she never got my boy one. When our boys who were similar age started daycare together somehow I ended up paying for that as well. 

I felt bad for the kids because I was something good in their lives but i cut the connection after my son was bitten and pushed by her son down the stairs and all she said was he is okay. I ended up at the hospital with him and he had a concussion from the fall and stitches on his arm. The bite had broken the skin and then been sort of torn open as he fell.

 

While I still have no contact with her a mutual friend has informed me that she has 2 more children and has none of them in her care.

 

It's so sad that some people just don't think about what they are doing to not only other people's children but their own as well

Re: difficult mother

Sorry to hear of your experience with this mum and her daughter @Serenity1, no one deserves to be treated like that. Is your daughter finding new friends at her new school? This may be a chance to clean the slate and remove all of that negativity that you are experiencing. 

Re: difficult mother

Thankyou @CheerBear yes I was really shocked I did not get a reply re: concerned about the tip - I know my daughter gets v. Excited & doesn't think clearly & was trying to express that to this mum - but I wasn't surprised as I said w her it is the 'norm' thanks for your support!
It is v. Hard to navigate the dynamics of friendships w kids & parents involved. 😭

Re: difficult mother

Far out!! @Former-Member that's pretty full on 😁 Yes I can understand wanting to give to your friends kids like you do your own - because that's what u do when u have their friends over to play - but when it is not reciprocated it can be really frustrating & not a nice feeling- good on you for being so kind hearted & also for knowing when to cut ties! I think that is what I need to do honestly enough is enough!- I'm so so sorry for your son & yourself to have gone through that sounds really horrible & traumatic 😘

Re: difficult mother

@Ali11 Yes! My daughter is making friends with everyone- she is really good at that, thankfully because she is a complete extrovert & very confident- so she has no difficulties - her teacher has said its like she has always been there! I think you are right about a clean slate - there is only so long you can hope for ppl to change & treat you properly ,without it happening- before you have to decide enough! Thanks for your support! 💖

Re: difficult mother

My pleasure @Serenity1 and great to hear your daughter is making friends at the school Smiley Happy

Re: difficult mother

I am so bloody frustrated -
Not only does it appear that the mother IV spoken about here- who we had a specific day that she herself chose for our daughters to have a continuous play date every week - she has replaced my child with another child on that specific day - I had to tell my daughter she is playing with another girl now & my daughter knows that is her & her friends day to play & she has now been replaced- how do you think that makes my daughter feel?
Another mother from the old school who approached me to have a continuos play date with our daughters & then she choose the day also has now decided to not get in contact with me for our daughters play date -& when I contact her - she tells me she has already made a play date wit the first girl -on the day she asked for my daughter to have continuous play dates!--( this is the girl who has replaced my daughters ongoing play date arrangement on the other day)
& I have a feeling it is going to now be an ongoing & continuous thing because of the way she has worded it- so my daughter has been replaced AGAIN - & with the child who replaced her other play date!!!
I feel so sorry for my daughter wth is wrong with some people- why approach ppl for continuos play dates & then ditch that child without even a conversation.
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