Skip to main content
Forums Home
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Something’s not right

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Hello @Former-Member 

 

Thinking of you...

so much to deal with...

You have made it this far...

one day at a time...

remember to breathe...

believe in yourself...

accept that you have done more than everything that you possibly can..

thinking of you both at this time 💜💚💛

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Thinking of you @Former-Member 

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Got your update @Former-Member  thanks.

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

@Former-Memberdownload(5).jpeg

 

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

I recently came across this poem, from an unknown author.  I feel it is appropriate right now for me, and is something many of us here could take note of from time to time.  So I thought I'd share it with you all. 

 

I will try to post an update on whats been happening a little later. Something I intended doing yesterday, but have just felt too emotionally and physically exhausted to do anything at all. Feeling very fragile and teary ... crying over anything and everything. Dont really know why this is ... I should be feeling a deep sense of relief now that hubby is finally getting the treatment he needs.  I guess I'll figure it out in time.  Last night and today have been a rest day for me, recharging the flattened batteries .. literally.

 

@Former-Member @Sophia1 @Zoe7 @outlander @Ali11 @Peri @Starta @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 

 

If the mountain seems too big today, then climb a hill instead.

If the morning brings you sadness, its okay to stay in bed.

 

If the day ahead weighs heavy and your plans feel like a curse.

There is no shame in rearranging. Dont make yourself feel worse.

 

If a shower stings like needles, and a bath feels like you'll drown.

If you havent washed your hair for days, dont throw away your crown.

 

A day is not a lifetime. A rest is not defeat.

Dont think of it as failure. Just a quiet, kind retreat.

 

Its okay to take a moment from an anxious, fractured mind.

The world will not stop turning, while you become realigned.

 

The mountain will still be there, when you want to try again.

You can climb it in your own time, just love yourself until then.

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

That is a really great poem @Former-Member and you are right - it fits with so many of us here. Thank you for sharing it Hon Heart

 

As for how you are feeling - I am not surprised. You have been holding it together the best you can for so long and now you have a few moments to yourself and all that pain and sadness is allowed to come out. While you are 'charging your batteries' and resetting a little also do something really nice for yourself. The answers to what is going on with hubby will come and you will be right there with him in whatever comes next but a little You time is also very much needed. Enjoy some time with Holly - snuggled up and feeling her love for you then tackle tomorrow when it comes. It is a difficult road you are walking Sherry but your strength continues to inspire Heart

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

@Former-Member 

A time to cry ... 

images - 2019-05-12T184102.603.jpeg

 

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

C9BA64F6-7AF9-4F84-8A1A-EF0FE2778AB5.jpeg

 

@Former-Member ❤️💕

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

@Former-Member Heart Heart

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

@outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Zoe7 @Sophia1 @greenpea @Shaz51 @Ali11 @Peri @Starta @Former-Member 

 

Okay ... my promised update.  Apologies in advance ... its a long one.

 

Well ... most of you probably know by now that we finally got that call up for hubbys hospitalisation last Wednesday.  I didnt wait until 11.30am as instructed, I called at 10am and asked to be put through to admissions.  They said that a bed was available and to present for Admission between 2pm and 3pm.  So we left in a rush in the end.  Good thing we were packed and pretty much ready to go.

 

My apologies to you all for my scattered posts around the place while I was away in the City from Wednesday until yesterday.  I had limited internet access and was posting on different threads as members asked how things were going.  And I'm so slow on my little mobile phone, so try to keep it as brief as possible when I do get on.

 

Soooo ... the neurologist organised lots of tests, including an MRI of the brain. Which was done under a general anaesthetic because of hubbys severe claustrophia.  Also did a lumbar puncture and EEG, and what seemed like a 101 blood and antibody tests.  It was a relief that the MRI showed no cancer had spread to the brain.  Many of these tests were done in order to rule out things, as opposed to actually diagnosing or proving the presence of anything. 

 

The lumbar puncture (to test cerebral fluid) indicated inflamation, leading them to suspect encephalitis. Taking everything into account, including hubbys history of having autoimmune encephalitis last year, his current similar symptoms and the apparent absence of any other new disease ... it was confirmed yesterday that hubby has a recurrence of Autoimmune Encephalitis (AE).  Its a relief to finally know for sure, or as sure as possible anyway.

 

Unfortunately there are very few options for treatment other than to go back onto high doses of steroids to arrest the inflamation.  As the neurologist said, they get best results by 'hitting it hard'.  If hubby responds well to this treatment which started yesterday, it will be further confirmation of encephalitis.  AE is a really difficult disease to diagnose because it does not present the same as other forms of Encephalitis, and each persons symptoms are different to the next.  I guess its little wonder they know so little about it.  The only real alternative to steriods was to give infusions of immunoglobulin which basically causes the immune system to shut down or slow up.  He did not give serious consideration to this for hubby because of his cancer, and thus ruled it out.  It could have led to the cancer cells in his body reactivating. In other words there was really no choice.

 

Anyway .. hubby is already responding well to the steriod treatment. It usually works pretty rapidly, as I recall from last year. Before I left the hospital yesterday, he was walking a little better, sounding a bit more sane and rational, less paranoid, reduced neck and shoulder pain and was getting fewer painful zaps in his head. I was therefore confident enough to leave him for a night or two and head home.  He was also agreeable to me going home, while I was unable to get my accommodation in the city extended.  I'd only booked 3 nights which was the expected length of stay as per the hospital. 

 

I'd intended going back down to the hospital today, but when I spoke to hubby and his nurse this morning they both said he had improved further overnight.  The neurologist said yesterday that, provided he continued to respond well to the treatment, he could be released on Monday. Much better than the 8 days they were talking about on Friday, but not as good as the original 3 day estimate. This afternoon he has been moved from the acute care ward to a general ward, so clearly he is continuing to improve. So I am expecting he will be released tomorrow, and I know he is pushing hard to be allowed to do so.

 

So its back to the city for me in the morning and, if discharged, it will be a long driving day for me. Not ideal, as I scared myself a little yesterday afternoon driving home.  I dozed off a couple of times.  Thank goodness for those jarring ruts along the edge of the highway ... they woke me up before I ran off the road.  Oops.  So I stopped and walked around a couple of times after that, to try to keep myself alert enough to get home safely. Another reason I was relieved I didnt need to go back today.

 

I have to admit though, that I am concerned about how hubby will react to the high doses of steriods again.  He will go from what he's been these past 2 months ... that of being very sick, needy, almost childlike and pathetic ... back to a much more familiar, angry and controlling man ... but supercharged due to 'roid rage. I'm not sure which version of him I prefer ... I guess I just wish he was somewhere in between the two extremes.

 

My poor dear Mum ... she now has a kidney infection and a bowell infection.  Has been very sick and saw her GP a couple of times last week, on Wed and Fri.  Is on antibiotics and sees her GP again tomorrow.  My brother is taking her.  The GP is threatening her with hospital if she is not much improved by tomorrow.  I have spoken to her every day, and she has barely left her bed except for GP appointments which either my sister or my brother have taken her to. 

 

The meals on wheels I tried to organise for her and my Dad ... she cancelled them.  Same as the Home Help cleaner. In all honesty I suspect the reason they dont want anyone in their home is because they will see that they are simply not coping.  I think they fear they will be reported and then find themselves in a nursing home.  Sigh. They wont listen to reason ... that if they have these services it means they are able to continue living at home, but if they keep refusing them, then its going to become impossible for them to cope on their own.

 

I am hoping hubby responds well and quickly to this treatment, and that it will allow me to escape for a short visit with family soon. I need to try to get something in place for them which they are agreeable to, and which works for them. If I'm there with them, they may allow it to happen.

 

One thing I am happy about is that if hubby comes home tomorrow, I will be able to keep my psych appointment on Wednesday.  Right up until Saturday they had been saying that he would not be discharged until next Thursday.  That would have meant I'd again need to cancel my psych appointment.

 

Sherry 💕

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance