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Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Hearing you @Former-Member ..... good morning sweetheart .... 💜💐

Holding you in prayer whenever I think of you.

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

welcome back @Former-Member

this thread is here for you to use as you please...to write or vent your thoughts...to observe...to reconnect with others or to just be...silent in the background ....that being enough support for the present....however you want to be..whatever is best for you..

take care

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Hello @Former-Member and thank you for the tag,

It was good to read a post from you - I was just thinking of you wondering how you were going. I could imagine how draining and hard it has been for you and hubby.......just want you to know that I am sitting with you. I look forward to your updates when you can. In the meantime take great care at this most difficult time and know how cared for you are here. Hugs ❤️

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Hello @Sherry HeartHeart

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

@Former-Member, thoughts and prayers are with you, nice to see you again. 

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

A long haul @Former-Member did you want to tag us in the PTSD thread and we can catch up on your news there?

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Thanks everyone @Former-Member @Determined @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Former-Member,

No Darcy, its okay I will post something here soon.  Its just hard to know how to divide the different issues up.  On this hand I am a carer of someone with depression, anxiety and PTSD.  But also with a now terminal illness.  On the other hand there is myself who also has PTSD, and its all so closely linked, all inter related.  So my latest posts were to my PTSD thread in the Other Forum.  But I also know we need to stay 'on topic', so I will try to bring in the relevant carer aspects over to here.

I will try to do that soon.  Thanks for your caring replies.

Sherry

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

@Shaz51 @Former-Member @Determined @Former-Member @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope

Okay so I will bring this thread up to date as promised.  The last update I gave was early September last year.  At that time hubby was booked in for major lung surgery to obtain biopsies of the cancerous nodules contained in his lungs in order to determine the type of cancer he had.

What was meant to be a 5 day stay in hospital, turned out to be 3 weeks in hospital.  He was extremely unwell, not helped by alcohol withdrawal.  So it was a very difficult time for me travelling the 5 hours requred for a visit from home.  I did book in and stay some nights in the city to be nearby while he was at his worst.  But thats really hard for me, being a trigger for my own PTSD.

So it was a slow recovery and after 3 weeks in hospital he finally came home.  The pathology came back on the biopsies and it turns out that he has Stage IV metastatic Melanoma.  Inoperable and incurable.  After a number of oncology consults it was decided that he would give immunotherapy a go.  Chemo has never been successful against melanoma which is the reason they have done so much research lately on alternative treatments.  The treatment he has decided to go with is only given to Stage IV sufferers and is still in the trial stages for some other cancers.  It is hoped that it will prolong life in a manner that is worth living. Its will hopefully prevent further spread. Best case it may reduce the size of the multiple tumours in his lungs.

So he had his first immunotherapy infusion at the end of November.  They take place every 3 weeks initially and then after 4 doses, it will then be every 2 weeks for up to two years.  Or until such time as it is no longer effective, or not tolerated. Similarly to chemotherapy, it comes with numerous side effects.  The aim is to boost your own immune system so that it fights the cancer cells. But it sometimes attacks your healthy internal organs as well, causing inflamation if your immune system goes haywire and overloads.

He tolerated his first two infusions well, with only a number of relatively mild side effects, all as expected.  However his 3rd infusion two weeks ago caused many serious side effects and he has been extremely unwell for the last 2 weeks.  Four trips to the hospital and the oncologist last week has resulted in him being put on a high dose of steriod medication which is meant to slow down the immune reaction and reduce inflamation of his organs.  He has been on this now for a little over a week.  It is finally having a positive effect on his side effects.  

Unfortunately he has been really badly depressed the past 2 weeks, which is understandable of course.  And now because of his current side effects, he has been pulled off the immunotherapy treatment.  He wont be able to go back on it again until this latest reaction has been resolved and he is weaned off the steriods.  So that has got him really down.

Added to that, he has been so so angry.  'Roid rage has definitely hit.  He has been a truly horrible person to have to deal with.  As his carer he's been near impossible.  He is an angry and aggressive man at the best of times, but right now, I'm almost afraid to go anywhere near him.  Thankfully I spoke to the oncologist this afternoon and he is happy for me to reduce his dose from 100mg per day to 75mg.  But it needs to be done slowly.  I cant wait to get him off them!

That pretty much brings us up to date on my husband. 

My Mum, who I also spoke of here, thats another story, as she has just gone through another cancer scare only last week. Thankfully its not as bad as we were led to believe, and is treatable.

My brother, whom I'm a primary contact and support for (he has PTSD and SI), he's been having major problems with his 18 year old son who is drug addicted and is self harming. He was recently charged with break enter and steel, possession of an unregistered firearm, and other assorted offenses. So my poor brother has had to deal with all that, on top of his own major issues.

It never rains, but it pours.

Sherry

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Oh @Former-Member how so very difficult for you, little wonder you are exhausted.

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Hearing you @Former-Member ...... cyber hugs incoming .... that’s so tough ......

Are you managing some self-care in there anywhere ...... something special for you ...... wearing your favourite colour maybe ?

Feeling for you 😔💜
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