Skip to main content
Forums Home
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Something’s not right

Former-Member
Not applicable

Struggling, *possible trigger warning*

*Possible trigger warning.*

 

Hi.

 

I'm just struggling a lot, with bad intrusive thoughts. And yes I'm safe, I just have suicidal thoughts often. I'm not going to act on them to myself or anyone. (Mods I hope it's ok to post this, hence me putting the trigger warning).

 

I can't go to the triage because they refuse to let me come in and just help me, even over the phone, I don't know why, and yes I have a referral for there from my Psychiatrist. I told him all of this too.

 

I don't know what to do. I was thinking of changing GPs at some point, but I have to when I turn 21 (I'm 20) because she only sees patients under 21. I have a few in mind who specialise in mental health, or so it says on their profiles anyway. She's nice but she doesn't do anything for me - doesn't prescribe me meds even though my Psychiatrist tells her to do (he prescribes my meds for me - sends them in the mail or faxes them to my local Pharmacist, its the only way I'll get them. And to be honest I feel more comfortable with him doing that), and she just tells me to speak to my Psychiatrist, so I'm wasting my time.

 

As some of you know, I had a bad experience with a rude MH Nurse that i'll be complaining about, and telling my Psychiatrist about.

 

I don't have any other professional help, just a weekly phone call from someone at Wellways while I'm on the waitlist. Seeing a social worker next week, I hope that goes ok.

 

I don't know what to do. No one wants to help me apart from my Psychiatrist and I feel like a burden to him anyway. He's agreed to see me every 2-3 weeks.

 

If you've read this post let alone read this far, or liked it even, thank you. I hope I didn't trigger anyone, I'm just really lost.

 

I just feel like this everyday, and it's so hard to escape it. Even when I go for my daily walks, I still feel this way. 

 

 

17 REPLIES 17

Re: Struggling, *possible trigger warning*

@Former-Member 

Smiley Happy

You did not trigger me.  I believe people should be able to post about basic SI thoughts as it seems to be the best way for them to begin to manage them.

 

I struggled with intense and constant SI for about 12-15 years.  It has gradually eased off.  Tbh I did not find professional supports that helpful, the best was just the DO NO HARM level.  However some think it is alright to dump their agro judgments on vulnerable people.

 

Bottom line. You know yourself better than anyone, so you know the kind of things that bring out the best in you, or give you the best feelings of calm or satisfaction or stimulation.  Life is a process, and I do believe choices are often limited, but it is the best tool we have.  Use the net to search for what makes you tick best.  Professional supports are only part of the picture. 

 

Glad you returned.  Live your life.

Smiley Happy

Re: Struggling, *possible trigger warning*

Didn't trigger me either hun 😊

 

I find music is a fantastic tool for any intrusive thoughts...also stretching, and living in the moment also help me

 

I have a psychiatrist at Hollywood (I know...expensive) but totally worth it.

 

Daily walks, adopt a pet...

 

I actually attempted si 16 years ago...I would not advise it...I know it's really hard right now with all this social distancing etc but I think you can get through it! Exercise! Get outside! 🙌

Re: Struggling, *possible trigger warning*

@Former-Member 

Im on the same boat as you really struggling daily/nightly with SI. It's really difficult as it's part of my mental illness and is always there. Lately it's quite bad- I've called life line lots and suicide call back. It's a stop gap when they become overwhelming. Today I called the CATT team but they have yet to call me back, so I'm waiting and hoping I get some support but I have no idea how during the COVIS-19. Both my psychiatrist and psychologist retired and I'm yet to find new one, but I feel like you quite isolated and alone and like there is not allot of support right now. Really long wait times for all services when I kind of need to talk to someone. I hope you find some extra people to connect with and I would probably complain about the MH nurse and behaviour- you have rights! 

Re: Struggling, *possible trigger warning*

Thank you @Appleblossom . I'm sorry you've struggled also

Re: Struggling, *possible trigger warning*

Hi, nice to speak to a new member (well you're new to me) @Blooms , so welcome.

 

I agree, music helps. I have a Dog, yes. What do you mean by you have a Psychiatrist on Hollywood?

 

I have a good Psychiatrist too.

 

I'm so sorry you attempted SI. Glad you're still here

Re: Struggling, *possible trigger warning*

@Fog I'm so sorry you've struggled too.

 

I can't even go to my triage/CAT Team, they refuse to help me and let me come in. Why? I have no idea. So that's hurtful.

Re: Struggling, *possible trigger warning*

@Former-Member  well I'm not even sure either l- still waiting for a call- feel the call back feature is broken and you get lost and not ending up with the support in the crisis! At 11.30am they told me I was next in line waited one hour on the call and still no one so left my number they tell you your spot in the cue won't be lost..... but 5 hours later, I fear they may not call back at all!! It's my last resort reaching out seems helpless when you need people no one is available! 
I can completely understand you feeling hurt/rejected by them- no one actually wants to seek their support unless we feel we actually need to step up and get help- sorry they didn't hear your "voice" that you needed help. 

Re: Struggling, *possible trigger warning*

@Fog I'm so sorry, best of luck with everything. I hope you can get a call and get some support that you're looking for, and that they're polite and helpful to you.

 

The triage, I spoke to them on the phone about 5 times, 5 different people in total. They even said I'll never be allowed to see my Psychiatrist ever again if I go there, even my Psychiatrist was shocked by this and said that's not true and would be bad for me.

 

They said "we can't help you and we won't, we won't tell you who can either. We won't let you come in or call" and so forth, just very rude. All I was doing was following up on my referral.

 

Sigh. 

Re: Struggling, *possible trigger warning*

Hey there @Fog, it is really hard when we're in between our more "solid" supports but have to rely on systems that aren't really tailored for us, and require so much waiting around. We're here to listen to you, to hold space and support you as a community if it helps. Our site also has some really solid factsheets and blogs, nothing compared to sitting down with a face to face support but a few of our community members have integrated some solid tips from both. @Former-Member thank you for supporting peers such as fog, you're a very empathetic and kind person!

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance