Lived Experience Forum

[Angels333]

Hey  @MDT  @Maggie @BlueBay @Appleblossom @Molliex @eth @Zoe7 @outlander @Adge 

Hey I hope you're all okay tonight,  I know some of you are going through stuff atm, I'm reading your posts and feel for you. 

This morning wasn't that great, as I was trying to recover from last night's episode of SH,  I coped poorly and used SH again this morning.    But the good news is I have been able to hold off all day.   On the whole things are getting better.   A week ago I was using SH 5 to 6 times a day, now I am only using SH twice a day, it's still not great and I am having huge anxiety but it's better.

Thanks for reading my daily story, it's helping me more than you can know.

Angels333 

[Zoe7]

Even little improvements matter @Angels333 and if you can begin to stretch out those days longer then you are doing really well. It is not easy to resist those urges so give yourself credit for doing so more often - well done Hon - that is an achievement 

[Appleblossom]

Hearing and applauding you @Angels333 

Change seems to be in the right direction.

[Angels333]

@Appleblossom @Zoe7 @MDT @Maggie @BlueBay @Molliex @greenpea 

In the middle of the night yesterday I self harmed but left out my harming tool by mistake.   Mr Angels woke early 5am for work and found it.  He confiscated it so when I woke up at 7am it was gone and I couldn't self harm.   This happened once before about 3weeks ago and I went that same day and just bought a new tool.   

But yesterday I did nothing I was stressed out all day but didn't use self harm at all.   I had opportunities to go to the shops to buy a new tool but I refrained.    Making yesterday the first day in over a month where I haven't used self harm.

I don't know how today will go whether I will replace it by going to the shops or whether I can manage to hold off.   I'm so tired of struggling against the urges.

When I saw Mr Angels tonight he just gave me a big hug, we never talked about it

Thanks for reading my daily story xx

I hope you are all well xx

[greenpea]

@Angels333  Hey Angels333 one step at a time hun. One day at a time. We are here for you. Love peaxxx

[Maggie]

@Angels333  💕💕💕

[MDT]

@Angels333 my friend 🙏

[Appleblossom]

@Angels333 

Hugs from me too.  Glad hub was decent and discrete about it.

The space is there now. To feel the discomfort, can be hard, but know it will be for a shorter time than if you go to shops and buy tool again.  Here it is like an addiction and if you can manage the discomfort, honour your feelings, and the desire to remove discomfort in the habitual way you have done, but now is the time to make the decision not to buy tool or do it again.

I thibnk it is brave for you to share this story.

Hugs again.

[Angels333]

@Appleblossom @MDT @Maggie @greenpea @Zoe7 

I feel so ashamed but I lasted 2 days without harming but I used SH again today.

@Zoe7  I've been thinking about Cat, did you get the results yet? Hoping they're okay xx

[BlueBay]

Hugs @Angels333 ❤️

hope results for Cat are good @Zoe7  thinking if you ❤️