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Something’s not right

Lemonjuice
Senior Contributor

Mother issues

Just had an argument with my mother. Spent the day cleaning and said to her that I was going up to my room to study. She told me to forget study cause these were sacred days and we might have visitors and we should do something. Like what? Clean the house. She doesn't want me to study that's all. She has fought me tooth and nail all the way from day one. She just wants me to stare at the wall and be as miserable as she is. I'm done. I give up. After 30 years of taking care of everyone why can't she be happy for me finding something I like. I don't know what I will do...give up the course. Just too distressed to think straight right now. 😭

23 REPLIES 23

Re: Mother issues

I am ALWAYS interested in people wanting to study and I suggest you continue doing it right now @Lemonjuice

 

My mother gave me double-messages - sometimes she was pleased I returned to study and othertimes told me I should be doing something else but I finished my studies then some and I am so pleased with that it enhances every day

 

Please study - it is doing something for yourself after cleaning

 

Dec

Re: Mother issues

Do the study for you @Lemonjuice

Be firm with mother.  She actually should be encouraging you.  Remind her of that. Remind her of your commitment to her. Fix a level of attention for her that YOU feel is fair and calmly stick with that. You are NOT her spouse. Have some quality time with her, certainly not both looking at the walls.

I do not mean to be blunt, but Especially if your mum is soon to pass. YOU have the right and responsibility to yourself to invest NOW in your life for after she is gone.  My mother died 2 years ago. Different scenario but still controlling. Its a personal situation that can benefit from a mangement strategy.

oldmother.jpg

We will love them whatever, but it is right that they leave us behind in a healthy state, if possible.

Re: Mother issues

@Owlunar @Appleblossom Sorry. Not up to replying at the moment. I couldn't stop myself, I self-harmed. I'm ok, nothing heavy or to worry about. I just don't feel anything now. Just going to watch movies tonight...don't want to talk...can't talk.

Re: Mother issues

Hey @Lemonjuice, hope the movie just chills you out. Your mother is in her own pile of stuff.

Stay strong, focus on your goals, what is it long term you want to be and put in the footwork to study now.

She is not you, you are amazing wanting to study and create your own life. 

Re: Mother issues

My apologies if I upset anyone. I just lost it. I'm doing better. Watched some Sherlock Holmes. I can't talk about my mother...so I can't reply. Apologies to @Owlunar and @Appleblossom for not replying directly to your comments.

Re: Mother issues

@LemonjuicePlease do not worry. I was not offended in the slightest. Glad you settled a bit and managed to watch a movie.  I hope I was not too blunt, but I did feel for your predicamant.

I am just popping by after a rehearsal across town. You are not obliged to respond to posts at all, or in any amount of time.  It can be hard when we make a deeply personal post we can feel like our innards are out on display. 

I see the forum as evolving.  We are making and "growing" it.

 

Re: Mother issues

@Appleblossom Thanks so much! I thought that I was finished here only to come on here and find your message if support. In real life, I am so normal and try my hardest to maintain that sense of normalacy but as I get older, hormones and pressures at home are pulling me apart evety so often. I'm terrified I am going to turn into that stereotyped raving lunatic and lose everyone. I go from sane to insane in seconds.

Anyways, feeling better this morning. Someone must have been praying over me, cause I feel clearer and calmer.

Hold that thought though, it's morning, the day is young and I'm going down for breakfast with mum...God help me!

Re: Mother issues

@Owlunar Thanks. What did you study?

Re: Mother issues

@MoonGal Thanks. Couldn't study yesterday but definitely will today.
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