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Something’s not right

Eden1919
Senior Contributor

I can't take this I am going to explode

I am so freaking FED UP I can't take this crap I am tired I dont understand why everyone constantly wants more from me I am EXHAUSTED and I spent so much time crying yesterday that I didn't get half my work done and I have had classes all day and I want to scream at everything and I still have 1000 things to do and I am hungry I am freaking hungry but every stinking time I eat it makes things even worse and I don't get it I have waited and waited and WAITED for MONTHS for this stupid psycholgist and still dont even have a date for an appointment. I am doing all the stupid things they say to do to help I am trying but i am freaking tired and i hurt everywhere and nothing is ever enough. I just want to have a break from my head but i cant and i dont know how long people expect me to keep this up I am crumbling and i can feel it but i cant stop it and there is no one i can even talk to. I dont know what more I can do it hurts and I want it to stop but it never does. 

16 REPLIES 16

Re: I can't take this I am going to explode

Hi @Eden1919 , it sounds like you are feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything today.  I hope you can get some respite here or somewhere for a little while and start to feel a bit better.  You definitely need to eat, sleep and try to take care of yourself.  I'm not making light of your eating troubles.  Have you been sleeping ok lately?

 

I'm sorry you have had to wait so long for psychologist.  Can you call them and ask for a date ASAP or if they have a cancelation.  Make it very clear you need to get in.  Don't forget the chat here or the helplines.  Reach out for help if you need to Eden.  You can definitely talk to people here who will listen and try to assist you.  Hang in there. Heart

Re: I can't take this I am going to explode

@Gazza75  I have tried calling the psychologist office 3 times and they never answer. My gp doesnt give a crap and just says wait for the psychologist. I have already tried 2 helplines in the last 2 days despite me deciding i would never try helplines again because they were terrible and no surprise they were again terrible. when i say there is no one i can talk to i am not being dramatic i literally mean i have exhausted my options and there is nothing left. there is no respite even when i sleep my dreams turn to nightmares and i wake up more tired than i went to sleep. I am sorry I dont mean to sound angry at you but i feel like sometimes people dont understand what i mean which is no ones fault but i just get so tired of people telling me there are options when there arent it just makes me feel even more hopeless which i know isnt the intention but i am the sort of person who will only say something if i have tried everything i have access to before that. i am sorry i am so grumpy 

Re: I can't take this I am going to explode

Hi @Eden1919 , Your GP sounds like mine.  Can you try another psychologist.  I know you shouldn't have to.  It must be annoying the helplines weren't any good.  I'm sorry about your sleep, that must be horrible.  I've never really had nightmares, I have had periods where I struggled to get to sleep or couldn't sleep for long.  I got manic and ended up in mental health unit from it.  

 

You don't sound grumpy.  I'm sorry if I frustrated you with helpline suggestion, its hard to know what someone has tried before.   I wish I understood a little better what your going through.  I definitely don't want to make you feel more hopeless.  I have followed some of your threads and ideas and I admire your resilience and courage.  I haven't commented as I don't know anything about your condition and won't pretend otherwise.

 

I have to head for home soon.  I might be around later tonight or over the weekend if you need to vent or talk to someone.  Not sure how much I can help, but, happy to try. I'm sure others here will support you as much as they can as well.  Your definitely not alone.  

Re: I can't take this I am going to explode

Hi @Eden1919 
I can hear that today is difficult for you and want to encourage you to be gentle with yourself. As @Gazza75 says, people here are definitely listening and will do what they can to support you. If you keep an eye on your inbox, I am going to send you an email shortly to check in with you.

Re: I can't take this I am going to explode

@Eucalypt @Gazza75  thanks. If i try and get on another list for a different psycholigst it will add at the least another 3 months to my wait time so that really isnt an option. I am so tired and I have been really not good today I tried to make an appointment to see the gp but i cant even do that for over a week and quite frankly that is too long at the moment. i am so fed up i really dont know what else i can do I havent been able to do anything today and just keep laying down hoping i can disapere for a while. I am trying so f-ing hard but i dont have a lot left in me and i am too tired to keep fighting people say get help when you need it reach out tell someone but what if there is no one to tell or no one who will listen what if there is no help? what then? because it is not reasonable to expect me or anyone on this planet to put up with this long term it isnt fair and anyone who thinks it is obviously has never had the misfortune of feeling like this. it is not ok to expect people to just live in pain constantly. 

Re: I can't take this I am going to explode

Hi @Eden1919 you sound so exhausted and over it. It's just awful when there is so much delay in getting any help at all. Just wanted you to know I'm sorry it's so hard and I hope today is a little bit better.

Re: I can't take this I am going to explode

@frog  thanks.

 

things have just been getting progressively worse over the last few days and now i am behind in my uni work as well. I tried calling the gp but still cant see them for a while and i am so tired and over everything I am crying at least 3 times a day and everytime i think i have managed to stop i start crying all over again. I dont know what is left to do I honestly do know what more i can do. I can even focus when i am in class and the most study i have done in the last 4-5 days has been maybe an hour and then i just get sad and tired. I dont know how much longer people expect me to keep this up for because it is not sustainable. i really dont know anymore i honestly just want to give up. 

Re: I can't take this I am going to explode

Hi @Eden1919 ,

I'm sorry to read that you feel things have worsened for you over the last couple of days. Is there something that might help to ease the pressure that you're feeling at the moment with your studies? You don't need to answer here – that's just something for you to think about. It's good that you have made an appointment with your doctor even if you still have to wait a few days for that. Take care.

Re: I can't take this I am going to explode

@Eucalypt  the appointment is a whole week away it is not in a few days. and I there is nothing i can do about the studies right now. and even if i do see the gp she is useless anyway she will probably just say wait for the psychologist again or cal, your psychiatrist which will be of no help because he will just say wait for the psychologist there is nothing i can do and honestly idk why i even bother with these people. i am too tired to chase them around town to get nothing as a result. 

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