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Something’s not right

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Senior Contributor

Help

“I suffer severe OCD and someone was very mean to me last night. I know I've posted on this before but it still haunts me. I don't know why I did what I did. 

 

What did I do to baby? I held her in the football or tiger in the tree hold where you hold baby with hand between legs (crotch) facing out so she can see the world. I'm so triggered. I feel like a monster. Why would I do that. And yet I see it done everywhere. He didn't need to be cruel. My greatest fear is to be someone evil. I'm crushed. The images demonstrate the hold. Facing baby out by crotch. Rationally baby doesn't look harmed but I'm so upset I could be capable of doing this. Please help. IMG_20200326_184853.jpg

 

Screenshot_2020-03-26-18-48-38-01.png

 

33 REPLIES 33
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Re: Help

Hi @Lotusgirl
Ive seen many parents holding their kids like this. I dont think it would be hurting them..
Im not sure what other suggestions were on your previous post but sound like you might need extra support around this?
Do you think you could speak with a helpline or your gp about how your feeling?perhaps they can help work out a reason you feel triggerred and ways yo mkove forward..
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Senior Contributor

Re: Help

Hello @Lotusgirl , honey I held my children that way occasionally too. I see nothing wrong with it and it certainly doesn't hurt the baby or make you a monster. People can be so cruel it's not funny. I use to worry about being a monster too, I had to work hard everyday to control my own fears so I could raise my children. 

Please be gentle with yourself💖

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Senior Contributor

Re: Help

@Lotusgirl  This may not sound very nice and I am sorry but as someone with severe OCD I am sure you and I know deep down that no matter how many people on here tell you it is fine it won’t get rid of the thoughts you are having. Seeking reassurance only goes so far but it never gets rid of the issue when it is OCD and it might give you 5 mins of relief but it won’t last and you will need to ask again. I think maybe you should see if you can talk to a professional support person about this as it seems to really be bothering you. And I get it I do honestly I am not trying to sound cold but this forum can’t really give you what you are looking for ultimately the only way you can feel less anxious about this is by letting go of the fear and I am not saying that is easy in any way but while ever the ocd is still in control (which let’s be honest is exactly what is happening) you will still be feeling horrible about this. 

 

I am sorry if this upsets you I genuinely didn’t mean for it to do that and you can completely feel free to ignore me but I just know that even if I told you it was fine that wouldn’t be helpful in the long run. Idk I was trying to find a softer way to say this but I am struggling and as I said above if it isn’t ok then just ignore me. 

Senior Contributor

Re: Help

Morning @Lotusgirl 

 

Just wanted to see how you are going this morning. Hope you have an ok day💖

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Re: Help

Hey @Lotusgirl . I held all my kids like this often. For one of mine in particular it was the only way to hold him to keep him calm. He needed the stimulation of seeing everything around him. It also helped with relieving wind as well. My kids couldn't be held faced forward by me often. Even in baby sling/holders I bought one that they faced out even from a young age. It saved me lots. 
I know people judge on stupid things. Let the haters hate and let you find peace knowing you care for a baby and do what feels right for you and them. Best of luck. 

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Re: Help

@Lotusgirl 

Motherhood gives challenges every moment of every day.  We all make different decisions, for a range of different reasons, and many moments we need to just relax and do what comes naturally. It is easy for others to judge and criticise, but they probably really should not even comment, until they have walked at least a mile in similar shoes.

 

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Senior Contributor

Re: Help

@Lotusgirl , just wanted to say hello. 

How are you feeling today?

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Re: Help

Hi dizzy Izzy you always take the time to check on me and it makes me feel less alone. Thank you so much. I wish I could take To U but there's no Pm function. How are you 

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Re: Help

@Lotusgirl ,  feel free to chat with me here and tag me by using the @ then my name, then I will be notified that you have posted here. 

I am happy I can make you feel less alone. I am struggling at the moment 

 

How are you doing tonight. 

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