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Something’s not right

Former-Member
Not applicable

Do you find that people don't notice you?

I am kind of self-conscious, because I have made a thread like this before, and I don't want to sound like I am complaining.

 

I mentioned in my last post that I had to leave work early, because I was dizzy/faint, and I felt like I was on the edge of a panic attack. I actually told someone at work, just off the cuff, that I was feeling awful. She heard me say that I was anxious, and then take a deep breath, like I was drowning. My supervisor looked a little concerned and sent me home.

 

However, last night, when I returned, neither of those two people said anything. My supervisor walked past my section a few times, and she didn't speak to me, and ask how I was doing. I kind of hinted at it, acknowledging her every time I saw her, but it was just business as usual, as if I didn't have a major physical and mental health scare the previous night.

 

Someone else told me that she was a little annoyed that I left my cardboard on the floor. I usually pick it up within an hour or so, once I have an empty trolley handy, but that night I was too busy dying to remember.

 

I was thinking about it, and I said "you know what, I kind of get why they didn't say anything, they probably didn't think about it. If someone else left early, I wouldn't have noticed." However, apparently the team DID know I left early, even people I don't talk to. 

 

I use a lot of sports analogies in my life. If that happened in a football facility, for example, the coach would probably point them out in the whole-team meeting and say "welcome back". The teammates in their positional meetings would obviously notice they were gone...

 

People don't care about each other anymore. I don't know if that's a general trend, or if it's particularly unusual, but it makes me sad. 

3 REPLIES 3

Re: Do you find that people don't notice you?

@Former-Member  I totally understand what you're saying. That has happened to me before. I felt unwanted and uncared for at the time. People can be cruel, thoughtless or are just not thinking about anyone else. Some have a lot on their minds and some just aren't empathic. But I do know that if just one person had said something to you your whole day would have been uplifted and felt brighter. 

Re: Do you find that people don't notice you?

Hi @Former-Member ,

I know what you mean, as it has happened to me, too. I can't exactly explain it, as I think it's a complicated issue. 

One example of what happened to me at work years ago:

I had a dental abscess and was in a lot of pain. I must have taken too many codeine tablets, because I vomited everywhere just before I was due to leave home for work. I rang my work and explained that I was going to be a few minutes late. (The reason I didn't take sick-leave was because I knew that it would be impossible to replace me at short notice.)
When I got there, apparently I looked really terrible and one of the doctors that I worked with took me aside and gave me an injection of anti-nausea medication. Luckily, the medication worked really well, and I was able to work for the entire day. The doctor was really nice to me and really understanding, so that was great.

 

By the end of the day, everyone had completely forgotten that I was unwell, no-one mentioned it and no-one said "why don't you go home early" or anything nice. In fact, most people left work as soon as it was reasonable for them to get away, and I was left to do the cleaning up (which seemed to happen frequently - even though the 'cleaning up' was technically eveyone's job, not just mine!)

 

I felt really 'used' that day. Even though that one doctor was really nice to me, no-one else gave me a thought. I suppose I should turn it around and just feel really grateful that at least one person was nice! I suppose in a lot of jobs, you don't even get that!

Umm, it's basically a kind of indifferent world that we live in. Very few people are genuinely community-mined or very caring when it comes to people who aren't their immediate family. People are selfish - that is how evolution has made them. They look out for number one. Honestly, if a woman was being beaten by a man in the street, how many people would look the other way? Most of them, is my guess.

As I've gotten older, the only antidote I have found to all this  is to actually join the masses and look out for myself above everyone else. I know this might sound mean - but since I started to really care about myself and advocate for myself I have become a more confident and content person. It is very likely that if the same thing happened again, and I vomited before work, that I would call in sick and let everyone one else deal with it. Too bad.
The other day, I skipped a meeting I didn't want to go to with the excuse that "I was too tired". I don't especially like meetings.
A few times last week, I didn't return people's calls, and I said "Oh I'm sorry I didn't even see that you had called!". Not true: I just didn't feel like phoning them.

I sent an email to one of the community groups I belong to, listing all the tasks I couldn't do "because I don't believe they are within my particular skill set."

After each of these occasions I felt Very Content. I don't suppose I am a sociopath, because I do seem to have a lot of empathy in general. Smiley Very Happy

I think I just need a break from always being the conscientious one.

 

 

Re: Do you find that people don't notice you?

@Former-Member 

I definitely believe there is a trend in society, business, etc. toward self centredness. People consciously spending time along, seeking someone a little more perfect. Employees in direct competition with each other, with their clients, and ultimately with the government who make laws. People work 40 hrs+ per week but see no purpose in what they do, believing it simply a waste of time.

However, in my opinion, it is very short sighted and society still values integrity.

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