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Something’s not right

Lemonjuice
Senior Contributor

Back from counsellor (DID)

Hi, I went to see my counsellor today.  I thought I was going to end in hospital.  I couldn't commit to not suiciding tomorrow because while I could promise it, others inside couldn't.  In the end, there was enough agreement that we would contact someone for help.  That's the first scary thing to happen, the other is that for the first time with this counsellor, one of the others came out.  That's only the second time that has happened in my life with a counsellor.  It happens every now and then but no one knows it...people might think I am more hyper, or more depressed, but they don't know it's someone else.  I am really strict about the others, no one knows, I have always kept them hidden.  So this is big...I actually believed this wasn't real, that I had created it, talked myself into it.  Now, I don't know.  That was incredibly weird and I don't know how to feel about it.  Also, when I drove down to the counsellor, my vision was blurry and I was thinking how I needed to get new glasses. On my trip home, I was sharing the driving with one of the others (there's still three of us controling the body, the usual 'caretaker' isn't coping so we took over), my vision was clearer.  Weird.

8 REPLIES 8

Re: Back from counsellor (DID)

Hi there @Lemonjuice.

 

Just wanted to jump in and say well done for being so vulnerable and transparent with your counsellor today. I don't imagine that would have been easy. I'm glad you were able to work together to come up with an agreement for how to stay safe. 

 

Just a quick reminder the following services are also there if you need:

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467

 

Take care of yourself,

Jupiter

Re: Back from counsellor (DID)

Thanks. I'm not suicidal, but for the others who are, yeah, thanks.

Re: Back from counsellor (DID)

@Lemonjuice  Just dropping by with a hi. I also have DID, so understand some of the struggles you face, but knowing we are all different also.

Take care.

Re: Back from counsellor (DID)

Thanks. If I didn't experience it, I would have a hard time believing it myself.

Re: Back from counsellor (DID)

Same @Lemonjuice . 

Re: Back from counsellor (DID)

@Lemonjuice  I’m working through a good book at the moment. It’s called “ coping with trauma related dissociation by Suzette Boon and Kathy Steele.”

It has helpful exercises, skills and understanding.

I just thought I’d mention it.

I hope you are doing ok enough today.

Re: Back from counsellor (DID)

@Maggie sounds like an interesting book.  I'm ok, did a lot of cleaning today.  I'm kind of processing everything after yesterday's counselling session.  Suicidal thoughts seem to have calmed down a bit, thankfully.

Re: Back from counsellor (DID)

That’s good to hear @Lemonjuice . It can take some time to get over counselling sessions. I find going slowly has really helped. Take care tonight. I hope you find something to relax with.

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