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Senior Contributor

BPD daughter 18yrs

Hi. I've been a single parent for many years, several years ago my daughter was diagnosed with PTSD, Generalised Anxiety, Depression & recently BPD. She is a sweet, caring, gifted & intelligent young woman, who struggles with low self esteem, (self) violent outbursts, suicidal ideation, digestive/eating issues and sometimes threatens suicide when having emotional/mental overwhelm. She is on anti depressents and self medicates with Marijuana. Sometimes she pressures me for money, which can be difficult to navigate as it can trigger her into these outbursts or negative mood swings and I recently found out how much she spends each week on pot, so am more reluctant to dish out extra cash now as I believe an addiction is developing. I love my daughter very much & I know she struggles with self critisism/hatred which breaks my heart to watch. Smiley Sad

Can anyone share with me how they handle boundaries & saying no successfully? I'm constantly dancing on eggshells as I want to help her maintain some balance, but I also feel that giving in to her is also keeping her from learning how to regulate & learn more self responsibility. Reading some of the other posts actually made me feel quite frightened for our future. Am I expecting too much? Thanks for reading this. 


Re: BPD daughter 18yrs

@FindingStrength  Hi FindingStrength and welcome to the forums. I and two of my children have mi's and I find with my more difficult son2 that making sure he takes his medication and knowing and understanding the results of any negative actions (like a stay in hospital mental health ward unit) is understood. Imho marijuarna is definitely not good and could cause all sorts of problems in the future for her.


I am lucky son2 is so disabled he wouldnt take any drugs (he has autism, epilepsy, mild intellectual disability). Unfortunately your daughter being 18 is now considered an adult and cannot forceablly be placed in a mental health unit unless she is a danger to herself or others. I hope this helps a bit.  Again nice to meet you and hopefully I will see you around some of the other threads. Greenpeax


Re: BPD daughter 18yrs

hello @FindingStrength 

how are you and your daughter today Heart


Re: BPD daughter 18yrs


Will do a quick reply over here as I don't want to get "off topic" so to speak in the dimensions of wellness thread.

A lot of people who support people with BPD  recommended the book "stop walking on eggshells" .

The carer gateway offers support and limited free phone counseling.


GP services were listed in the wellness thread.


I will tag you in relation to another resource.


Re: BPD daughter 18yrs

Hi. I only saw this message today. We have had a rocky ride over Christmas & New Year... Last night included, today has been ok. I'm already finding the forum helpful & am wondering why I resisted for so long! Thanks for checking in Smiley Happy

Re: BPD daughter 18yrs

Gratitude, I will look into these suggestions!

Re: BPD daughter 18yrs

hello and hugs @FindingStrength Heart

checking in to see how you and your daughter is xxx


Re: BPD daughter 18yrs

Hi @Shaz51 & thanks for checking in. Slow to respond I know, but with the added bonus of all the CV-19 stuff just to make life that little (or a lot for some) more interesting, I'm feeling a bit lack lustre tbh. Last few days have felt frustrated & not really having the energy or patience required. Daughter has taken to staying up ALL night & sleeping all day, so that is going to make her disposition worse & I'm not feeling good about that.... She tells me I'm "helicoptering" or lecturing her when I'm just trying to communicate about how I feel and the concerns I have about her well-being. So, I don't know.... Family Connections course has been disbanded of course due to social distancing etc. I feel for people with these extra difficulties to navigate. How are you & yours doing? 

Re: BPD daughter 18yrs

Hugs @FindingStrength Heart

Yes a lot going on with all this virus thing 

One step at a time here my friend 

@greenpea , @Faith-and-Hope , @eth 

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