Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Oh my dear @BlueBay  ... I really feel for you. But I have nothing to give right now. All I have is a big warm hug. 💕💕

[MDT]

@BlueBay my friend 😕

"thinking of you

[BlueBay]

Thankyou @MDT @Former-Member 

[Owlunar]

Hi @BlueBay 

Be still and take a few slow, deep breaths - and keep doing that because all you have to do until Monday is breathe - and it is the most important thing you will ever do and you need to keep on doing it so just breathe

I can hear that you are panicking - badly - but you don't need to cope with a lot of things right now - all you have to do is to last until Monday - and I can tell

You want a hug and 

You miss your Dad

And although you sometimes hated your job it was important to you

Your mind is racing and you are shaking and want all this to stop right now and I am wondering why when you are going to hospital on Monday

But the thing is that you are - so what can you do?

Have you spoken to the CAT team today? It might be time that you did - you need to keep in touch with the providers of your network and you also need our support and we are giving it where we can - 

I understand - everything is getting to you right now - so just keep breathing

You are so strong - you have lasted through months of stress and since I have known you years of battling - and it's tough I know but you can last - you will - you have proven this over and over

But I know it's hard and we are all here for you

Dec

[BlueBay]

Thankyou so much @Owlunar 

I'm tired. I phoned my dictir and he saw me not long ago. 
He said I will get a job but csnt day when. I told him "you can't guarantee that" to which he replied I know but I'm positive you will a job. 

I think part of me has given up. 
im tired. I can't wait for Monday. I will regroup myself while in there. I will do classes and try to do my own walk as well. 

I know I'll have support my psychologists in there as well as nursing staff. 

I can't wait to start my gym work. Good thing it's local and I read their website and think it's all covered under Medicare if you have a condition which I have - high blood pressure, eating disorder and depression. I qualify. 

Last night I emailed my dietitian eith a copy of my resume and cover letter to review. He replied later saying my letter needs work and my resume is good. He said in my letter I need to sell myself and be full of pride confidence and enthusiasm. 
maybe I'm not that at the moment and it showed in my letter. So this needs work. Might be able to do while in hospital. 
I might even speak to the social worker about getting a job. They may give me some ideas. 
I told my dictor I just need to get through hour by hour. 

im sitting outside with my coffee. Hubby washing my car. Waiting for my daughter and A to come for dinner. Then A is staying the night. Can't wait to see her. 
I love her so much. I think my daughter was meant to have her to hrlp me. She's an angel ❤️
my enthusiasm and motivation is not here. I'm just doing bare minimum. 
I think I should go snd have a nap before A arrives. 
wish I wasn't so tired. 
What are you doing today @Owlunar and how are you?  Xxxooo

[Shaz51]

Sending you lots of tender hugs my sister @BlueBay 

[Owlunar]

Hi @BlueBay 

Yesterday I watched a movie and took it really easy all day - I get hayfever a lot this season and it wears people out - I know I am not alone - the pharmacist told me that a lot of people are bad with it this season and I don't know why but I feel better knowing I am not the only one a - ah - this is me with hayfever 0_/_]] - lying down - I don't get much done but I read  lot

I  am sure you will get a job too - as do others here - if you sell yourself - going to hospital right now will give  you time and space to get rid of the negativity you have so much of - bad for your enthusiam

How do you do this? Well - when you write your resume have a list of the things you can do and have done - and also research the company you are hoping to get this job with - look them up on the internet and find out what they do that really appeals to you and let them know this

Also - indicate that you are willing to learn more about that field and look forward to doing so

So much of the time you seem to dwell on your circumstances and the things you can't control but you can control yourself - you have done this so often through the las months - going to work when you felt least like it - and staying there when you didn't want to. You have a lot of sticktoitivity when you make your mind up. You are really gutsy about it and you prove it over and over again

It won't be easy - but if you want it badly enough - you will get it - tell you child-self that you have heard her and for now she can stay in her box - you are going out to get a job for both of you

And treat yourself - you got a pay-out so invest in your wardrobe - a couple of new outfits will build up your self-confidence

Telling yourself over and over than you are worthy helps too - and you are - whether you can see this or not

I know and have hospital first and get the best you can out of it

Dec

[BlueBay]

Hay fever is terrible @Owlunar there  are so many people with it at the moment. Hope it eases up for you. My son has it almost all year. It's tiring   

@Shaz51 @MDT @Former-Member @Maggie @Gazza75 @Zoe7 @Molliex and others reading 

I'm going to hospital tomorrow morning. Possibly for 2 weeks. This time I'm not rushing out. 
I'm going in to get myself out of this negative rut. Also do the group therspy and try to get help with a social worker reg jobs and resume. 

To be honest I've needed this stsy months ago. But I tried to persevere but since losing my job I've crashed quickly to not a good place. 
I know my doctor isn't really sure I should be going in as he says I'm worse when I come out. But I disagree as this gives my mind a break. I need it. 
im glad my psych got his colleague to admit me and see me while mine is away. I know who he is and has a good reputation from his patients. 

im packed and just getting last minute things done at hime. 

we had little Ayla last night for the night. She wouldn't go to sleep so I had to read about 5 books. Then she kept saying "one more book nonna". 
she fell asleep in my arms. About 4am she woke up and wanted to go to the toilet which was really good. 
up again at 6.30am. I made banana oat pancakes this morning which were beautiful. Hubby and I took Ayla to two parks near us walking distance. And then bsvk hime to mum and dad. 
she amazes me eith her language and the amount of words she knows and says new ones daily. I didn't know how to put the tv with her Peppa pig show this mirning. She looked at me and said "nonno hrlp" snd off she went to call hubby!!!! Such a cutie. 

Ok I better go. Cooking burgers for dinner. I will try to come on here but can't guarantee how often and when. 
take care my beautiful friends ❤️❤️

[MDT]

Hey @BlueBay

You sound relatively positive about things.

I am pleased you are getting help you need. Just take it easy from it all my friend.

We all reach these moments. Just take what comes 🙂

[Molliex]

Good luck @BlueBay. You know what you need, good for standing up for yourself. Sounds like a lovely time with Miss A. Will be thinking of you 💙