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Lost on options

Sorry this may be detailed but desperately need some advice and options. 

3 years ago I moved in with my mother. At that stage I did not realise I would be moving in as her Carer. I was moving as refuge from domestic violence. As soon as I moved in I have been taking on more and more responsibilities when it comes to mums care. 
 The story

my father passed away 5 years ago. It was a hard time for us all. I then moved in with my mum and brother (brother was caring for mum before me) I never realised the state Mum was in. She is unable to walk much due to be extremely obese and requiring knee surgery. This was the main issue. As the years have gone by things have changed and gotten worse and this is where I am stuck on options. 

my mother has become extremely abusive. Especially towards my 7 year old daughter. She has become so use to us here she will not do anything for herself. She forces my 7 year old to clean up after her and do stuff like remove her bandages even though I have asked time and again not to. She is depressed but refuses to get help has seen a psychiatrist and then left because she thinks she knows better. She believes herbs will cure her. She has even started hitting animals and smacking my daughter and niece. She won't diet even though I try and make food healthy. She complains every day about everything. She has a hoarding issue. But worst is the abuse. Constant yelling screaming. She treats me like I am 12 tells me I can not visits friends and such. I am trying to work to earn money to pay sky rocketing rent she charges me and bills on top. Even though I care for her. 

I am so stressed I can no longer cope I need help but don't know what to do or where to go. 
please someone help. 

2 REPLIES 2

Re: Lost on options

@Pricklz  Hi Pricklz and welcome to the forums. I am no expert so I am giving advice as to what I would do in such a situation. I would pack up my daughter and the animals and leave. This is domestic abuse and you and your daughter plus the animals should not, I stress should not have to tolerate it.  What does your brother have to say? Can you move out?

 

You have to think of your child here to take care of. Your mother is an adult and in the end can look after herself. 

 

I hope I have helped a little bit. Love peaxx

Re: Lost on options

Hi, believe me when i tell you that i know how it feels to be stuck between a "rock and a hard place" People say leave but it is not so cut and dry....sometimes our money can be in the house and it would have to be sold or perhaps we are raising a child alone and not have money to leave. First, i would pray...then talk to her doctor to see if some anti depressants and something to help with her aggressive behavour could be given. Save every penny you have.Tell your brother and mother that unless he shares fifty percent of her care, then your not paying rent as your care giving covers the roof over your head.Hope you feel better. 

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