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Lotusgirl
Senior Contributor

I am not ok today

I suffer severe OCD and someone was very mean to me last night. I am worried I harmed a baby and he seemed to affirm that I did. However that is contrary to what others have said. 

 

What did I do to baby? I held her in the football or tiger in the tree hold where you hold baby with hand between legs (crotch) facing out so she can see the world. I'm so triggered. I feel like a monster. Why would I do that. And yet I see it done everywhere. He didn't need to be cruel. My greatest fear is to be someone evil. I'm crushed. The image of Kate Middleton demonstrate the hold. Facing baby out by crotch. Rationally baby doesn't look harmed but I'm so upset I could be capable of doing this. Please help. And this "friend" was such a bully

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3 REPLIES 3

Re: I am not ok today

@Lotusgirl hello- babies wear nappies which are very thick, there is no way you would have hurt a baby holding it in this way, you wouldn't have had contact with babies skin as it was protected from the thick padding of the nappy. If baby was hurt it would have screamed, cried & tried to wriggle out of your grip- did the baby do any of those things? Why do you believe you have hurt the baby by carrying it like this ? This is a very common & natural way to carry a baby. You have done absolutely nothing wrong. X

Re: I am not ok today

@Lotusgirl 

 

Held all my babies this way - plus everyone else's babies.

 

You have done nothing wrong, the problem is your friends, not yours.

Re: I am not ok today

@Lotusgirl 

Hi Lotusgirl,

From what you have described, your friend is indeed, a bully and has treated you cruelly. I completely agree with @Serenity1 and @Razzle.

I also believe that it is likely that the other person probably knows the areas where you feel a certain sense of insecurity and are using this knowledge to cause you distress. There doesn't seem to be any other reason, apart from ignorance, that anyone should maintain that any harm would be caused to the child by your actions.

 

Your behaviour and actions, in no way that I can see, make you even the slightest bit evil. In fact the evil appears to be from where the accusation came. What I understand, is that evil is very much associated with intent. If your intention was to cradle the baby in such a way as to provide the child with more opportunity to engage with and enjoy the environment in which you were, then your intent and actions were sound and you would not have hurt the child whether

they are girl or boy.

 

If harm would be caused to any child by holding in this way, then all the forward facing baby carriers/slings and walking trainers would be equally, or even more liable to cause harm to all the children carried in them. With regulations on all types of baby equipment these days, that possibility is extremely unlikely.

 

The only mall-intent, that I believe exists, is on the part of the other person, unless they were speaking through ignorance of the reality, which would be their only defence.

 

I understand that, if you wish to retain this person as a friend, there may be some conflict in such a decision for you. If you would like to, you may want to tease these ideas out a little in further discussion on this forum.


With My Very Best Wishes

HenryX

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