Lived Experience Forum

[FakePerson]

Hi, I hope this is the right area. I just found an interesting thread about CPTSD & NDIS here from Google,

and then I joined up.

I was diagnosed after first thinking I was autistic (and still do actually).

Psych said the report she writes will qualify me for DSP. After 7 years of job network.. Happy Days!

2 months later when the report arrives at the doctor, it’s something entirely different.

As soon as I spoke to some NDIS person I blocked the company from my phone, and cancelled psychologist appointment for good.

I suppose some might understand the failed child doesn’t want to be investigated. He’s in charge, and letting me know it. I spent 4 days in bed depressed enough to hurt.

Taking control, and ending it is the most attractive that it’s been in a couple of decades, but it’s not on the table while a few family members are alive.

After 3 months of being off on a doctor’s certificate, and another 3 months to go, part of me can't

believe I’d cancel it right now to go back to a job network provider and fly into a fit of rage at one of them.

My entire goal has been to get away from them. I’ve been a doormat.

I’m more comfortable with this than treatment options.

[tyme]

Hi @FakePerson ,

It's great to see you join the forums. I hope you find it as helpful as I did when I was going through a challenging time in my life.

Are you upset with what the doctor wrote on the report when applying for the DSP? 

Or are you finding dealing with NDIS challenging?

I hope other members will be able to share their experiences with you.

tyme

[FakePerson]

Hi tyme, I’m upset that the report is inconsistent with what was spoken to me. It isn’t worth the application for DSP (stabilised and treated will never happen). Separately, I now believe the job network torture to be of a more tolerable variety of torture than treatment from health care professionals, the latter being the pathway I’d be required to take to qualify for a pension. Since the inclusion of particular medications in my diet, that useless failed child has become much more capable of becoming enraged at someone than I could ever be. I’m currently holding it back, but I have a feeling letting it go in the right face would be very empowering... and then there might be consequences, but since when does a child care about that?

[tyme]

I hear you @FakePerson ,

Unfortunately, applications for NDIS and DSP are very much medicalised and deficit-based. 

Hence your doctor 'knew what to write'. 

In the past, it's been said that you describe the person on at the worst time, on the worst day, in the worst space. That's why these reports can be such a shock. You may be thinking, "Am I really that unhelp-able?"

Also, the DSP and NDIS are designed for people who most likely will NOT improve from their disability.

I'm sorry this process in applying for something that could potentially assist you, be so triggering.

Would you ever feel able to share your thoughts with the doctor who wrote the report?

Sitting with you,

tyme

[FakePerson]

That was a psychiatrist who did the assessment. The report is the same 3 pages that diagnose me C-PTSD.

It was expensive.

It was the doctor (psychiatrist) who said her report will qualify me for a pension. It does not do that in itself.

The GP I was seeing suggests (not promises) I could still qualify for a pension if I did all of this treatment.

It’s the actual exposure to the mental health treatment that’s doing my head in. 

The report is also disappointing, but separately.

[FakePerson]

Interestingly Centrelink would want that report for a DSP application, and so would an application for NDIS.

The same thing that details how many people abused you and how, and when, etc.

[tyme]

I'm so sorry to hear @FakePerson . It is sounding like a very traumatic experience in itself! 

For now, I hope you will be able to find space to be gentle with yourself.

At any time, if you feel you need a chat, our counsellors on SANE are available for a chat Mon-Fri 10am-10pm (AEST) on 1800 187 263.

You're also welcome to head over to Share a cuppa? in our social spaces.

Feel free to tag me into your posts by typing '@' in front of my name. That ensures I get a notification of your message.

Kindest, 

tyme

[FakePerson]

Does Si mean the last thing you can do? 

I don’t know if it helps, but a thread here helped me become inspired, and called RSPCA today to volunteer.

Two calls weren’t answered, so that tells me they need help! 😄

It’s not that I can’t work, although there may end up being complications, my issue was the control of abusive job network providers.

No matter what happens I’m free of control for 3 more months, so I’m going to take that control.

For the last 3 months I have been having the biggest tantrum of my life I think 😄 It might have been warranted, I’m not sure.

I have let a pain medication become a recreational drug, and been lazy and selfish.

I think that I will stop destroying myself now, and if it is to happen, someone else will have to do it.

[Paperdaisy]

@FakePerson I'm going to tag @tyme for you as they may not have received your last message. Happy to read you've found something on the forums helpful and have been inspired to volunteer. Wishing you all the best with that.

Sometimes the doctors know what to write in order to get you the support you would like. However, I understand how it could be difficult to read. I'm wondering if you could email them your concerns?

If you haven't already, it might be best to chat to the doctor about your medication usage. 

Please take care 🌼

[Wanderer]

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