Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Sharonm]

Very tough week with C. Has gone from performing well on his meds to crashing and back to considering hospitalisation...all because of a break up.

At school yesterday threatened to harm himself, ended up curled up in the foetal position talking about how his dad abandoned him and everyone leaves him and I will soon leave him (no chance...no matter what).

Emergency psychiatrist visit results in new meds and an understanding of BPD. Makes so much sense. But also makes me so sad. Another diagnosis to add to the list.

Definitely feeling worn out but hopefully that we are on the right path. Has definitely helped me understand my ex and why he was as he was despite the fact he has no official BPD diagnosis...

I know this is a journey and I can't expect instant results but I guess I was hoping that we were on the right path. And i guess we are....but still...

[NikNik]

Hi @Sharonm

What a wonderful mum you are! I always feel that just having a plan is helpful - when plans don't go to... well.. plan, it sucks, but it gets you closer to the right path 🙂

I just wanted to check whether you mean Bipolar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder? I have seen you post about bipolar before, so I'm assuming that's what you mean. Both usethe BPD aconymn, but you will find in these forums, often BPD refers to borderline personality disorder.

Thanks,

Nik

[Sharonm]

Thanks for your reply @NikNik and your positive words. Yes I did mean borderline personality disorder. Well definitely "traits" of BPD.

So far we have panic disorder, ADHD, Bipolar and now BPD. I just wonder where it is going to end.

I didn't have an understanding of BPD but now I see those traits in C and in his father. It is always good to have an understand why someone is as they are but hard to know your child is starting on a very tough path in life. Friends keep saying it is good it is diagnosed early and you can get him the help he needs and I am so hoping that is true but I have my doubts. He has no concept of what all this means but takes his meds everyday providing I put them out for him.

I am so glad it is Friday! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

[NikNik]

Hi @Sharonm

I really do hope that the early intervention means a good long term outcome for you & your son.

I'm not sure if you have stumbled across these already, but there are some good resources that you might find helpful.

SANE has an information guide on BPD, which you can find here

We have run live Topic Tuesday here on the Forums about BPD, which you can find here

I would also like to link you in with @suzyQ , who started a discussion here about their teenage daughter who has recently been diagnosed with BPD too.

I hope you find these helpful and you continue to find the Forums a supportive place where you can unload and feel less alone in your experience.

[NikNik]

Oh I also forgot to mention the discussion called Borderline Personality Disorder Tips for family and friends

[suzyQ]

Hi Sharonm it's suzyQ here. We have also had a BDP diagnosis recently so let me know how I can help. I suppose for us it's been about unpacking the traits this diagnosis brings. My daughter is 16 so things are tough for her hormonally already. She's been medicated for the last 4 years due to feelings of sucide, so for us this diagnosis has been something concrete that we can research. It's also been important for us to share this with our extended family so that they can now understand why C sometimes behaves the way she does. It's still early for us but I wanted you to know that your never alone. They say it takes a village and ours is ever expanding.

[Sharonm]

Thank you for your replies @NikNik and @suzyQ.

@suzyQ I guess we are at a similar stage with a recent diagnosis and a 16 year old hormonal teenager. It is very difficult to recognise what is caused by C's bipolar or by his BDP traits and what is just teenage behaviour. There are days he is sweet as pie, there are days he is dark and stormy but that is all teenagers. Then there are the days that drain every bit of energy out of me. The aggression and the extreme outbursts. The talk of suicide the hysteria. The days I handle it really well and the days I don't....because I have a breaking point too.

The hard part is getting people to understand and to accept that this is a real condition. I have had many supportive friends but some of my very best friends have discounted it and said "everybody has something these days". I don't have the energy to address it with them so I just keep away from the topic. It is a very lonely feeling really. If he had a different medical condition that people understood I am sure the support and understanding would be much higher. I constantly feel that people are questioning my parenting and I am also questioning my parenting even tho I do everything I can to help him deal through this. Psychiatrist, psychologist. As you may already know there is limited medicare rebate for psychology and even when there was the gap was $100 a session. I am being drained in every way. Emotionally, financially and my ability to cope right now is diminishing. I am a pretty strong person but this is testing me this week.

Sorry I don't really have any direct questions. I guess it would be good to hear how you deal with your daughters behaviour when it is not appropriate. Do you disapline, do you have set boundaries that receive consequences regardless of her headspace. I am getting different advice from different people. C's psychiatrist is fantastic and she constantly talks to him about taking responsibility and to me about having red lines that he can't cross despite his condition. This sits well with me as he still has to live in the real world but it is hard to implement at times. Just curious about how you cope on a day to day basis.