03-01-2019 01:13 PM
It’s a new year, which tends to mean New Years resolutions right? Big changes, big thoughts, big pressure. What if we say no this year and maybe ease off some of that intensity of a new year?? Let’s not overthink the things we want to do better, the things we wish we had or were and need to get and be.
What if we did a review. You can call it the annual review of life maybe? Haha! What was something that made you feel good last year? What interaction with your loved one was a really good one? What was an activity that made you both feel good together or what was a thought that helped each of you or you as their carer? Could we instead say hey - that was good, I want more of that this year? And try to insert even just a little more of that vibe to bring into this year?
What do we think? I’ll have a go. I am not a carer myself but for me I know that in my relationships generally I felt good when I didn’t rush to take control - instead I let things be even if it was for a few more minutes before I perhaps offered a perspective or thought! I’d like to do more of that this year.
Who want’s to go next?
04-01-2019 12:48 PM
Ha ha @Lauz I say pffft to new years resolutions too and pffft to comparing ourselves against anyone else.
Motivation has been a problem for me and dogged determination in recent times has started to pay off and perhaps this could be extended into other areas of my life. Often dealing with just one thing a day has been a challenge and while still a work in progress, our home has gone from being a complete mess to us being able to have unexpected visitors without embarrassment.
My gardening mojo is returning and again with persistence and effort (mainly Mr Darcy's effort 😁) we have begun to tame the wilds in some sections of our yard. Mr Darcy tends to put in a big effort to weed a large, yet to be planted section of garden; I follow up by finding suitable plants which we put in together and then the bed is mulched. He will also help move plants to more appropriate spots. As with the decluttering, I tend to the garden in smaller bursts, pulling small sections of weeds, do a bit of pruning, replenish the bird baths or fill in gaps in more established beds (which inevitably involves a bit more weeding). Even though my solo efforts are not as dramatic, over time there has been a noticeable difference and we are both really pleased with the progress.
Along with the social threads, which bring lightness to my day, I love having the decluttering and gardening threads, they keep me accountable and help me achieve something I see as worthwhile. It is lovely to be able to check in and report on small gains and encourage others to do the same and celebrate with them when they too are doing things despite the emotional upheavals they are going through.
It is a bit ironic that the saying "small steps" does not sit well with me, yet that is exactly what I have been doing for the most. Mini goals, splitting tasks into doable steps are all strategies that I have used to get jobs done.
04-01-2019 01:29 PM
@Darcy - love this response! Sounds like you spent some really valuable time in 2018 in tasks that made you feel much better. More so, sounds like you and Mr Darcy were quite the team! In achieving these things and continuing to do so together have you found there have been positive effects to both of your wellbeing - I mean it sounds like you have been able to help motivate each other too perhaps?
I love your insight that you don't particularly enjoy the statement of 'small steps' but you inccidently do them! Maybe it's about not having the pressure of the statement or rejecting that statement that allows your brain to actually approach that (bit of reverse pyschology on an subconcious level?!?) haha
Do you think you and Mr Darcy will be able to continue doing the gardening tasks together this year? It sounds like it is quite empowering as each of you use your own strengths towards the one goal.
04-01-2019 04:54 PM
Time will tell @Lauz 😀. Alarming so when his MI was life threatening, Mr Darcy has always been motivated and tenacious. Being more of a couch potato I do try and tap into that strength. He has no interest in gardening but is happy to help just wants the place to look nice 😀.
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