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Looking after ourselves

Re: Living with Ourselves

@Appleblossom  Lovely to receive and read your response..thank you..

our situations are different yet not so unalike..

my family member is not close by to visit...even when he stayed with his father,,,was far too long a distance for me to drive..

I have made a huge recovery physically, yet mixed with mind, anguish and concern I am still limited in travelling into the city on my own. I know that it would be challenging dealing with situation, far too emotional and taxing on my energy levels at this stage...this will come..however he has now moved on due to visit from govt without going further into that..

so family member back on the move, unknown where, has been deemed safe..

I cannot say too much as said person was on these forums briefly. I knew this would happen. Person is very astute.

My moments t o cherish are when I make connections with my real family member...now more often as I am more expressive,,concern is shown for me and suggestions made...of ten those I have indeed made myself...how reassuring to know that we think along the same plane at times and thinking patterns are aligning...

at these times I feel as though I have my person back and that we will stand up for what we believe in and make every effort to bring about change for the better...we both feel so very strongly about this..

lovely that you get to spend the physical time with your son aside from the difficult times.

Setting personal boundaries really does work..'

then again it really is common sense in all areas of our lives whether we are over challenged....drained carers....or young people struggling to identify ourselves..

if only we could learn this when we are young...

then again perhaps the whole process of life would not work as part of growing is realising the challenges...then taking steps to deal with them..

again thank you @Appleblossom  

I do remember your words of wisdom and help in my very early days on here and thank you again 💜

Re: Living with Ourselves

Hi @Sophia1 I was glad to see you about on forums recently.

Thanks for your post on Happiness Day thread.

I'm glad you enjoy the many different birds around your new home.

Yes my physical health is still a daily struggle - I would not have expected long-term bowel dysfunction & Irritable Bowel Syndrome to come about (be effects of) from my 4 surgeries.

Or that Drs would be so unwilling to remove the protruding internal stitches, from my last (4th) surger.

They are still sticking out.

Thanks for reminding me of the joys of discovering new things - eg your seeing wood pidgeons.

Yes grief & loss does last a long time - you miss your father, who has been gone for 20 years.

I have not really adjusted to my Dad being gone, for just 4 years (seems like an eternity).

I did enjoy my birthday (lunch out) thanks.

Sadly it was somewhat clouded by people's fear & anxiety, in response to current events (& reactions).

Adge

Re: Living with Ourselves

Thinking of you @Sophia1 and hoping all is ok 💙

Re: Living with Ourselves

hello @Adge 

occasionally our paths still cross during my brief periods on the forums.

I try to look out for who has posted and where.

impossible to keep up and in some cases wary of responding as not knowing updates and not wanting to upset or exacerbate any feelings..

I know that you have had physical health issues for some time now after multiple surgeries.

my sister has similar symptoms, yet different again..

I think that surgeons are reluctant to interfere with stitches externally for fear of setting off a chain reaction to the body not healing completely in that area.

I had something removed from my back where the wound although healed irritates at times..

I have since had something else cut out of my lower arm which after about a week became irritated and inflamed. It was then explained to me that it is not irritation but some people have reactions to surgery and their body rejects the stitching, in my case a small lump has evolved and irritates on and off. I was shown pictures that looked quite horrific where in some cases they appeared the size of balloons...

It was also explained to me that trying to rectify the reaction increases the body rejecting the surgery and worse results.

4 years is not a long time when grieving the loss of a loved one.

In fact I dont think that I personally can put a time on it...there will always be moments where I miss him immensely and yet on some occasions when he was alive he annoyed me...how human!

Today was sad we had to say goodbye to our 9 year old feline...even though I knew has been very emotional and numbing. husband not prepared even though I had discussed...he was fixated on a cure. she is at rest next to her adopted dad ( my soul fur baby). they are under a callistemon tree that is flowering...next to the cat play house where our one remaining cat will play alone hopefully...if not it will be turned into a nursery like an english garden potting shed...

her presence is everywhere in our home and he is quite confused as he would be..

it will take time but she is here with us ..so the three of them are still together in my mind from a physical body form...spiritually who knows..

I am going to mosaic one of her bowls..I have always intended to do something special in that corner of the garden for my big soul fur baby...the social distancing and perhaps lockdown will allow me to explore and be creative...

I am pleased to read that you enjoyed your birthday

the outings with other carers always include some who need to talk about their anxieties.

Are there any particular people in the group with whom you might be able to communicate still with via text or even talking on the mobile.

connection of some form is good.

you of course have your friends on here.

i shall try to find you when I do log on.

be gentle with yourself @Adge you have achieved far more than you give yourself credit for.

look back at where you first were when you arrived here and how far you have stretched out and friends made.

ps when I was in the UK in 2017 I was fascinated with animal shapes and figures.

I found three different birds carved from wood and painted all with a different facial pose and expression.

I then found in the national trust shop at one of the trust homes two metallic birds...they are superb..

I bought a curly steel sheep, a knitted rabbit, a stuffed cat, wooden fox, mouse and cat, a special edition painting of a gloucester pig and an antique repaired teddy bear...

what must people think?

who cares!!

If you were here I would show them to you.

Did I tell you when it heavily rained a few weeks ago, flooding in some parts of the city, the frogs arrived in droves...fabulous walking along hearing them croak..

there is so much to observe, hear and notice, I finally feel that I am home.

Sophia💚

Re: Living with Ourselves

Dear @eudemonism 

I often think of you and wonder what is happening in your life, how your pets are.

I wish you all the best always.

 

I know that I was not here for you often enough in the latter days and that was nothing to do with you. That was for my own self-care.

I still practise this now.

Sophia 💚

 

Re: Living with Ourselves

hi @Sophia1 its been a while since youve checked in. Just wondering how you are and leaving some hugs Heart
i hope your ok

Re: Living with Ourselves

Some days I'm just tired of talking, thinking, feeling and being awake. I want to crawl up in bed and bit get out till I have solid solutions that work well in moving forward with my life. Great ideas sound good at times until you carry them out. 

 

Healing is darn exhausting. Moving forward from a horrible traumatic and chaotic life us exhausting. New decisions are always required so that there is no trauma and no chaos. I literally could not take anymore anyway. 

 

That's a scary realisation for the fact that while I can control my own life and choices, I cannot control what other people choose to do. I'm scared if more bad happening. 

 

There are days when I think that I don't like dredging up my past in therapy. I think gosh really how beneficial is it to me? I'm getting better at laying boundaries and saying no. 

 

I dislike how I feel sometimes. For as long as I can remember, at night times I sometimes look at houses/units with their lights on, their lights off and sometimes I don't want to look at all. All three of those things cause me to feel the sadness that has been there for a long time. It feels too complex to sort it. 

 

Healing is exhausting and you need to sleep when your whole being says sleep. 

Re: Living with Ourselves

@Sophia1 ❣️❣️

Re: Living with Ourselves

Hello @outlander @Maggie 

 

Bless you both for thinking of me and taking the time to let me know

 

I have been trying to read back over so many drafts not posted.

Draining.

 

I do not have the energy now to write anything.

Too much to say with little strength at moment to post.

Much has happened in my world.

 

I do hope that you both are taking care of yourselves and life for you both is improving.

Dare I say life is behaving.

 

Much love to you both

bye for now

take care

Sophia 💛💚

Re: Living with Ourselves

It’s nice to see you drop by when you can @Sophia1 . 

 

Energy levels are tricky, and have a way of getting out attention.

 

Take care of yourself as best you can.

 

Sending lots of these your way. ❣️❣️❣️❣️💕💕💕

 

Its @outlander  Birthday today, I thought you might like to know. 🥳🥳

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